The Future...

... has me so excited! Yesterday I had my first exam, which went really really well, and on Friday I have my last exam of my undergraduate degree. I can't believe that I'm going to finish uni, after everything I've been through and the big changes I went through, moving to England, boyfriends, girlfriends, sadness, happiness, homesickness, richness, skintness, jobs I love, jobs I hate and most of all all the things I've learnt over the past 3 years. Not just university stuff but things about myself. And I've grown so much, I've changed, not a lot, but I definitely has changed, and to think that such an important amazing time in my life is coming to end is a bit weird and sad.

BUT I'm also incredibly incredibly excited about the future. The little things and the big things like the fact that J and I will be moving in together soon, with a couple of friends of ours, in a 3 bedroom flat modern flat and friend X will be nowhere in sight! The rent is really really cheap too because we're all sub-letting and there's 4 of us, which means we will have more money for travels!

Firstly I'm excited about my breast reduction as you will all probably, maybe know by now. After waiting so long for it the bloody thing is less than 3 weeks away! I will be writing a blog about that, mainly because over the years I have read a few and they have been really helpful to me but they were by women in very different circumstances to me. I have always found this problem with my boobs. There are bras made for people with massive tits but they're not really to a teenager's taste. From the age of 14 i have been wearing the same bras that my mum buys, not that there's anything wrong with them but I used to feel so left out when shopping with my friends and they all bought cute little bras with cute little designs on them or sexy plunge bras. I hated it! And I found that many of the blogs I have come across are experiences of older women whose boobs didn't shrink after they'd had kids, or who had big boobs most of their life but it didn't really bother them till now. None of them seemed to relate to me, except certain issues about what size to go down to, so I thought it would be good to put my experience out there too.

Oh did I mention my mum's coming to Derby for a month when I have my operation? That's going to be interesting, but I can't wait to see her, it will have been about 6 months since I last saw her when she comes.

Then there's Wireless, then Malta, then moving in with J, then life... And did I mention I have a new camera to document it all on?

Not to mention I am still head over heels in love with J, she makes me so ridiculously happy and everything seems to be working out for us perfectly at the moment :).

My mum bought me the Sony Cyber Shot DSC-TX5 for my 21st birthday :D (which is 3 days after my op). I saw it and I fell in love with it and I think it's a very appropriate present for my 21st :).

Anyway, I got a bit excited, I wrote it all down. Friend X is being a dick to J so now I am less excited more fuming that my girlfriend has to put up with such shit from a liar and a hypocrite. At least she's moving out of that evil house 4 months then she was originally going to.

I hope everyone is as excited as I am :)

Crazy in love

Don't you hate how crazy being in love makes you feel? Mentally crazy, slightly deranged and completely out of control of your feelings, emotions and even your body. I do and say things sometimes, not necessarily anything bad, just things i don't normally things i would do or say. I've realised this year that my confidence has increased so much, partly i think because of J and also because of university. When i first moved to Derby i was much quieter, i wouldn't speak up about anything, i wouldn't stand up for myself, i couldn't speak out in front of large groups of people, and now i can do all those things, though it's only been throughout the last week that i realised just how much i've changed.

I noticed at uni last week, we had to give a small presentation and the other people in my group didn't want to speak out so i did, and i was calm and confident. This time last year i would have blushed and stumbled over my words. I was talking to J in a nightclub last night and her friend and housemate (let's call her friend X) kept trying to get involved. Now this woman is 10 years older than me and since i've known she's always been rather patronising and made me feel small and she's the type of person who always has to be right, always has to be in charge and always has to have the last word. She used to point out my age a lot, which i didn't like because i am always the youngest around friends here yet i don't act like a child. J has had to move in with her even though she doesn't want to and X hasn't been very nice about me being there. She's also one of the biggest hypocrites i know and she's not always very nice to J. So last night she kept trying to interfere and i flipped and shouted at her to not get involved and she started yelling back.
But the point is, a year ago, maybe even a few months ago, i wouldn't have had the courage to stand up to her. The only problem is she doesn't want me in her house now but to be honest, i'm glad i flipped because she's just ridiculous. She's alienated a lot of J's other friends because she wasn't very nice to them, and whenever she's around she hangs on to J and excludes everybody else from the conversation they're having. I was just fed up with it.

Anywaaaaaayyy, rant over!

Has anything changed you recently? Over the past few years? Have you noticed it - are there particular things or situations where it's really obvious to you?