New bras and scars

That first day of the operation passed quite quickly, as the anaesthetic wore off I slept for most of the rest of the day (which wasn't very long as I was in the theatre for 5 hours), the only time I was properly awake was when I had to go the toilet. I had a drain in each of my boobs, so going to the toilet that first time was hard, i had a drain in each hand therefore no hands free. After a strange night's sleep I woke up feeling more myself.

The drains weren't so bad, except if I forgot about them the entry wounds stung like bitch! Luckily I took to the hospital treatment well and avoided moving as much as possible! My first drain was taken out just the morning after, and the second drain the morning after that.

The first time I saw them properly was when one of the nurses fitted me with a bra. There was a mirror in the fitting room and when I took my gown off and looked in the mirror it was as if I was looking at someone else's body. It just didn't look like me. I mean they still looked like my boobs but there were bits of body I hadn't seen for years! Ha;f of the skin between my belly button and underneath my boobs had been covered by boob mass for so many years, it was so surreal to look in the mirror and see these average-sized, perky breasts with normal sized nipples on my body.

They have been healing very well, they were never very bruised, just lots of yellow bruising, no massive purpleness or anything. My dressings were taken off only a week after the operation. I have dissolvable stitches with dark purple glue holding everything together. The glue falls off when the wound has healed, and now, 3 weeks on, most of the glue has fallen off. They're a bit dry and I need to moisturise them often and out stuff on the scars, but they're still a little temder, at least one is. The nipple on my left boob is still sre, and every time I brush it (you really take for granted how easily you brush your boobs against things) it makes me very aware.

Whilst there was a little bit of suffering and strangeness and sadness (part of me will miss my gigantic bosom), I'm really happy with the results. They look completely in proportion with my body shape and height (except for the massive belly I have grown since I haven't been very active for 3 weeks plus my mum's been here fattening me up!). I have already bought clothes that I would never have been bale to buy before, including shirts which button up all the way without gaping! Proper, fitted, womeny shirts, which I shall be wearing, smart ocassion or not, from now on. I have only tried on one bikini and couldn't really look past the glue sticking poking out in places so I'm going to wait a while longer before I dive into them. i think I'm going to need ones that cover up the scars properly this year, because they'll obviously still be very pronounced.

So that's that! The 2kg the surgeon removed from my chest I seem to have accumulated onto my belly, even though I think my belly is exactly the same, it's just that there isn't a massive mass of boob to draw attention away from it! It will have to go sharpish.

J and my mum have both been amazing throughout this. From the start, the first time I showed J my new boobs she said she loved them already and thought they looked perfect on me. I think her (and my mum's, but her's mainly cos I obviously want her to love them) encouragement has been a great help. If I was with someone who didn't want me to get it done then I don't think I owuld have been happy with the results, whereas now I'm excited about being naked with her again (I have to wear a sports bra for 4 - 6 weeks, no underwire, 3 down!), properly naked! I'm also excited about underwear, these support bras have left me with no cleavage which is a strange phenomenon to me.

So that's that!
Whenever I think about it, I still can't believe I've actually had it done, but I'm so glad I have, and I'm sure that in a couple of months I'll have forgotten all the negatives to it and be enjoying th benefits of a much lighter chest.

At the moment my mum and I are in Cambridge staying with my aunt (the one who I visited in Aberdeen last year). J came to stay over the weekend and it was amazing, she got on really well with my aunt and everything was great.

Next weekend we are going to London to watch Jay Z and Lily Allen (AT LAST!) at Wireless festival, and we have also found out that London Pride is on at the same time! So I'm very excited about that! I've never been to any Pride and I think London Pride would be a very good way to lose my pride virginity!

Hope you are all enjoying your summers, and prides, and thank you for keeping up with me and my inconsistent posts.

The Future...

... has me so excited! Yesterday I had my first exam, which went really really well, and on Friday I have my last exam of my undergraduate degree. I can't believe that I'm going to finish uni, after everything I've been through and the big changes I went through, moving to England, boyfriends, girlfriends, sadness, happiness, homesickness, richness, skintness, jobs I love, jobs I hate and most of all all the things I've learnt over the past 3 years. Not just university stuff but things about myself. And I've grown so much, I've changed, not a lot, but I definitely has changed, and to think that such an important amazing time in my life is coming to end is a bit weird and sad.

BUT I'm also incredibly incredibly excited about the future. The little things and the big things like the fact that J and I will be moving in together soon, with a couple of friends of ours, in a 3 bedroom flat modern flat and friend X will be nowhere in sight! The rent is really really cheap too because we're all sub-letting and there's 4 of us, which means we will have more money for travels!

Firstly I'm excited about my breast reduction as you will all probably, maybe know by now. After waiting so long for it the bloody thing is less than 3 weeks away! I will be writing a blog about that, mainly because over the years I have read a few and they have been really helpful to me but they were by women in very different circumstances to me. I have always found this problem with my boobs. There are bras made for people with massive tits but they're not really to a teenager's taste. From the age of 14 i have been wearing the same bras that my mum buys, not that there's anything wrong with them but I used to feel so left out when shopping with my friends and they all bought cute little bras with cute little designs on them or sexy plunge bras. I hated it! And I found that many of the blogs I have come across are experiences of older women whose boobs didn't shrink after they'd had kids, or who had big boobs most of their life but it didn't really bother them till now. None of them seemed to relate to me, except certain issues about what size to go down to, so I thought it would be good to put my experience out there too.

Oh did I mention my mum's coming to Derby for a month when I have my operation? That's going to be interesting, but I can't wait to see her, it will have been about 6 months since I last saw her when she comes.

Then there's Wireless, then Malta, then moving in with J, then life... And did I mention I have a new camera to document it all on?

Not to mention I am still head over heels in love with J, she makes me so ridiculously happy and everything seems to be working out for us perfectly at the moment :).

My mum bought me the Sony Cyber Shot DSC-TX5 for my 21st birthday :D (which is 3 days after my op). I saw it and I fell in love with it and I think it's a very appropriate present for my 21st :).

Anyway, I got a bit excited, I wrote it all down. Friend X is being a dick to J so now I am less excited more fuming that my girlfriend has to put up with such shit from a liar and a hypocrite. At least she's moving out of that evil house 4 months then she was originally going to.

I hope everyone is as excited as I am :)