With the English election getting closer and closer, and the power of the EU allowing me to vote, I am insanely confused about who to vote for. I've watched the debates, read the articles and still have no idea. First, I came across this website mygayvote.co.uk, which makes it obvious that Conservatives are a no-go. It all seemed pretty simple before, get Labour out of government for a number of reasons by voting conservative. Not happening, especially after this came out yesterday: Tory candidate Philip Lardner suspended for gay comment. They may have suspended him but the conservative party is just that, so Mr. Lardner is probably not on his own, he's just the only one stupid enough to speak out about it.
Next i came across this How should I vote in the general election 2010? on the Telegraph website. You answer a number of questions and then choose the parties you would like to compare your results with. Whilst there no questions on gay issues, I thought it would be interesting to see anyway. I chose Labour, Tories and Lib Dems, since no one else really has a chance, and the BNP just for a laugh. Lo and behold, according to this questionnaire my top match (With about 45%) was with the BNP!! Second were Lib Dems (44%). It didn't really make sense to me, shouldn't they have polar opposite policies? The Lib Dems aren't so harsh about Immigration, which is one of BNP's biggest issues. Who knows.
Finally, I would like to vote Lib Dem. However, with the way seats are distributed, even if they achieve an overall majority, they still won't have enough seats in parliament. For this reason my dad thinks I should vote conservative, just to keep labour out. But I do not want to vote conservative, mainly for the reasons mentioned above. So J thinks we should vote labour since they are the lesser of two evils when it comes to issues that affect us.
Who knows, it's all too confusing. Malta's elections are so much easier, where you are 'born' into a party, the whole family would have been supporting them since the beginning of time and you basically have no choice in the matter. This is too much responsibility for a 20 year old, confused, gay/bi foreign person to take in!
In other less confusing but just as life-changing news, I came across a post-graduate course that sounds perfect for me. PERFECT. It's a Doctor of Educational and Child Psychology at the University of Sheffield, which is ranked number 18 in England overall and number 11 in England for Psychology. When I came across it yesterday I got so excited, I considered changing my plans for next year. It's close to Derby so i could commute, but then I remembered why I chose to take a year out. I'm not ready for a full on three year doctorate course and I definitely can't afford. I told J about it and she told me to apply for it, but anyway applications for September 2010 are closed, but in a few months I can and will apply for 2011. I think the thing I'm excited the most about is having a Doctorate by the time I'm 25! J said she would move to anywhere with me, so we could move to Sheffield if we fancied it too.
I am stupidly excited about the future, the near future, the distant future and anything that might happen in between. I've handed my dissertation in and I'm really happy with it. I'M SO EXCITED!
Showing posts with label university. Show all posts
Showing posts with label university. Show all posts
Wednesday, 28 April 2010
Friday, 12 March 2010
A few things to look forward to
Here are some things i'm really looking forward to:- Finishing uni
- Doing well (hopefully!)
- My breast reduction - even though I'm petrified
- Buying new things to wear :)
- The sun coming out soon, hopefully
- My mum coming to Derby for the first time since she came over to help me settle in when i came in 2007
- Spending a few weeks in Cambridge with my mum and my aunt
- Summer in Malta with J
- Moving in with J
- Getting a job and being able to leave the cinema
- Going to New York (hopefully!) next Christmas
I am really excited about the next few months :)
What are you all looking forward to?
Thursday, 11 March 2010
Wow!
I have 50 followers! I don't really know what else to say about it except thank you everyone for being interested in me!This week has been a good week so far. J started her new job on Monday and she's really enjoying it, which means she's been really happy and cheerful all week, which means so have I. She was only given part time hours at first, but they've given her Thursday and Friday too which means after April she can finally leave the cinema. The sun is starting to shine, the sky is getting bluer, and the air is slowly getting warmer, all is good :).
Apart from the fact that, as always, i can't focus and have no motivation to do my uni work. My deadlines and exams are looming and i just can't be bothered. which is not good. I did well last semester (I got A, B+ and a B), so i have a good chance of getting a good degree result, though i need to get my head down and read read read.
On top of that, my breast reduction is taking place on 7th June. I'm petrified! I had my pre-operative assessment yesterday and i've put on weight, so the nurse told me i need to lose some just in case (just in case they decide after all not give me the op). Grrr. It's not even a lot that i've put on, and it's just down to laziness, but i'm not happy about it. Ah well, it just has to be done. I also saw the ward that i would be staying in, and it's a cancer ward. I feel a little bit like an intruder, considering most of the patients who are going to be in there are ones who really need treatment, whereas my op isn't essential. But anyways, i'm just happy it's finally getting done, even if i am scared about what life is going to be like with normal-sized boobs. What if i don't like them? Or if i can't recognise myself without them? Ah, i'll just have to wait and see i guess.
Wednesday, 17 February 2010
Vlog experiment
So i've decided to try vlogging, i even edited the video, not brilliantly, and it took me ages, but maybe listening to me for 4 minutes will be more enjoyable for you than reading pages of words! Tell me what you think, be gentle lol :)
Sunday, 30 August 2009
Is it alright for me to feel this way?
Yesterday i started watching season 1 of The L Word again, skipping the bits i found boring, ie. anything involving Jenny (except her sex scenes with Marina of course). I spent the majority afternoon watching episodes 4 till 10, when i should have been reading up about discourse analysis for my IS (independent studies - my dissertation/thesis whatever you want to call it).
J went to Leeds festival this weekend, which i am quite jealous of cos Kings of Leon played/are playing tonight, and they were meant to play at Beni, but had to cancel cos of strong winds. Because of strong winds! T, F and I queued for about 6 hours to make sure we got right to front, right near the barriers, all to be told we had to fuck off back to our tents cos they were scared that the stage was going to fall apart and the equipment wasn't working well. Not happy! So cos J was away for the weekend we've hardly talked, except for a couple of texts. So now i'm looking forward to go home so we can talk again after almost a week. On Wednesday my mum and i are going to Sicily for a week, i'm really excited, i'm looking forward to getting away, and hopefully i'll pluck up the courage to come out to her while we're there, bonding over good food, good wine, and even better shopping. We come back the Wednesday after, and the Monday after that (which would be two weeks from tomorrow) i finally go back to Derby.
I'm really looking forward to going back, if only to be able to be out properly and not have to worry about coming out to anyone, or introducing J as my friend, i can hold her hand in public and across the table when we go out for dinner. Just the little things that we couldn't while she was here. I'm not particularily looking forward to my final year of uni, or the idea of making decisions about my future when i've finished, but ah, such is life.
I also have a feeling that two of our cats are gay. They are both girls and are constantly together and rubbing up against each other the way cats do, bump heads, rub bodies. But that is not the extent of it! Have you ever seen a male and female cat flirting? We have loads of cats, they come and eat our food, often uninvited, so i have been witness to plenty of feline flirting. The female cat rolls around on her back meowing, while the male cat sits and watches. Kind of like a feline lap dancer, or exotic dancer. Today, these two female cats rolled around in that way together, rubbing their heads together as they did it, then they lay on their stomachs facing each other and rubbed noses, licked each others paws, play fought, the works. I am absolutely convinced they have seen the light and have fallen madly in love with each other. I said this to my mother, and she laughed at me. Pah.
J went to Leeds festival this weekend, which i am quite jealous of cos Kings of Leon played/are playing tonight, and they were meant to play at Beni, but had to cancel cos of strong winds. Because of strong winds! T, F and I queued for about 6 hours to make sure we got right to front, right near the barriers, all to be told we had to fuck off back to our tents cos they were scared that the stage was going to fall apart and the equipment wasn't working well. Not happy! So cos J was away for the weekend we've hardly talked, except for a couple of texts. So now i'm looking forward to go home so we can talk again after almost a week. On Wednesday my mum and i are going to Sicily for a week, i'm really excited, i'm looking forward to getting away, and hopefully i'll pluck up the courage to come out to her while we're there, bonding over good food, good wine, and even better shopping. We come back the Wednesday after, and the Monday after that (which would be two weeks from tomorrow) i finally go back to Derby.
I'm really looking forward to going back, if only to be able to be out properly and not have to worry about coming out to anyone, or introducing J as my friend, i can hold her hand in public and across the table when we go out for dinner. Just the little things that we couldn't while she was here. I'm not particularily looking forward to my final year of uni, or the idea of making decisions about my future when i've finished, but ah, such is life.
I also have a feeling that two of our cats are gay. They are both girls and are constantly together and rubbing up against each other the way cats do, bump heads, rub bodies. But that is not the extent of it! Have you ever seen a male and female cat flirting? We have loads of cats, they come and eat our food, often uninvited, so i have been witness to plenty of feline flirting. The female cat rolls around on her back meowing, while the male cat sits and watches. Kind of like a feline lap dancer, or exotic dancer. Today, these two female cats rolled around in that way together, rubbing their heads together as they did it, then they lay on their stomachs facing each other and rubbed noses, licked each others paws, play fought, the works. I am absolutely convinced they have seen the light and have fallen madly in love with each other. I said this to my mother, and she laughed at me. Pah.
Monday, 24 August 2009
Let's just stay, let's just stay, i wanna lie in bed all day. We'll be laughing all the waaaay.
Yesterday i spent the day on the beach with my mum. We went parakiting (or parasailing, or parachuting..). It was amazing! We were harnessed on to a parachute and a boat pulled us along over the sea. It was an incredible experience. We had a really lovely day, we had a nice lunch and it was then that i thought about telling her about J. She was in a really good mood, and slightly drunk cos we drank a bottle of (really good) wine. But i didn't. Aaaarrrrgggghhhh why does it have to be so hard! I just want to get it over with so i can stop feeling guilty about lying to her and my dad and get on with being happy with J.
As always, we couldn't go one day without having little arguments, and as always they were about university. The main one being that i want to take a year out after i finish my degree in May (fuck me i can't believe it) so i can work, and just relax because i've been at some form of school all my life and it's getting a little bit boring. Also so i can save up for my Masters. And J also plays a part in it. We've been together for 10 months, but it still feels all new and lovely, and since i'm moving away from Derby to do my Masters, i want to stay in Derby for an extra year, especially if we're still together. To be honest i'd want to stay even if we're not because i love it there, i've really settled in and have friends there now. But my mother doesn't understand this, she didn't want me to go in the first place and she still thinks that as soon as i've finished my studies i'm going to move back home.
But anyway, i have three weeks left to do it, and at the moment i'm busy worrying about my Dissertation. I'm enjoying my little bubble of happiness, and worry that if i let any more people in they will burst it for me :(.
Plus this past week my back's been terrible :(.
As always, we couldn't go one day without having little arguments, and as always they were about university. The main one being that i want to take a year out after i finish my degree in May (fuck me i can't believe it) so i can work, and just relax because i've been at some form of school all my life and it's getting a little bit boring. Also so i can save up for my Masters. And J also plays a part in it. We've been together for 10 months, but it still feels all new and lovely, and since i'm moving away from Derby to do my Masters, i want to stay in Derby for an extra year, especially if we're still together. To be honest i'd want to stay even if we're not because i love it there, i've really settled in and have friends there now. But my mother doesn't understand this, she didn't want me to go in the first place and she still thinks that as soon as i've finished my studies i'm going to move back home.
But anyway, i have three weeks left to do it, and at the moment i'm busy worrying about my Dissertation. I'm enjoying my little bubble of happiness, and worry that if i let any more people in they will burst it for me :(.
Plus this past week my back's been terrible :(.
Friday, 12 June 2009
Home is where the heart is.
I'm back home! I'm one year older than i was when i was here last time. And i'm a litle bit sad. But i'll not go into it cos i can imagine how bored you're all getting of my missing J stuff..
Well i got another result back and i got a B+! I'm very happy with that, even though with one more mark it would have been A- and that would have looked even better but anyway. Hopefully if i get between a C+ and B+ on my other two modules then my 2:1 isn't looking so impossible after all!
So that has cheered me up a bit. I'm still petrified about third year though. I emailed the lecturer who's supervising my IS (its Independent Studies, that's dissertation or thesis or whatever you want to call it) because i was meant to get her to physically sign my sign up sheet and then take it to the lecturer who supervises the IS module, but i'm home now and won't be back till September, so that's fucked it hasn't it lol. And i have to get an enhanced CRB which she said could take months to get done. Just brilliant.
Anyway, we had quite a nice last day together yesterday (see i couldn't keep off the subject for long lol). In the morning we carted all my crap from my house to J's friend's house, which took us more than 3 hours, and my shoulders and back are really suffering cos of it now. Once we'd finally got that done we showered and went to meet a couple of friends from work for coffee, where we decided to have cocktails instead to reward ourselves after the long morning. Then we went shopping a bit, well J went shopping. Then we went back to her friends house and waited till it was time for me to leave.
And now i'm here and it's boiling, it's so hot. I'm not used to this heat anymore. Last year i came home in May, so it was still not this hot and got weened into the heat. This year i was just thrown into it. And the heat here is a really damp, humid one, so when it's really hot it feels really stuffy. Anyway, i'm just going to look forward to Beni and for J to come.
Happy summer everyone! Sorry for my depresing tones lol.
Well i got another result back and i got a B+! I'm very happy with that, even though with one more mark it would have been A- and that would have looked even better but anyway. Hopefully if i get between a C+ and B+ on my other two modules then my 2:1 isn't looking so impossible after all!
So that has cheered me up a bit. I'm still petrified about third year though. I emailed the lecturer who's supervising my IS (its Independent Studies, that's dissertation or thesis or whatever you want to call it) because i was meant to get her to physically sign my sign up sheet and then take it to the lecturer who supervises the IS module, but i'm home now and won't be back till September, so that's fucked it hasn't it lol. And i have to get an enhanced CRB which she said could take months to get done. Just brilliant.
Anyway, we had quite a nice last day together yesterday (see i couldn't keep off the subject for long lol). In the morning we carted all my crap from my house to J's friend's house, which took us more than 3 hours, and my shoulders and back are really suffering cos of it now. Once we'd finally got that done we showered and went to meet a couple of friends from work for coffee, where we decided to have cocktails instead to reward ourselves after the long morning. Then we went shopping a bit, well J went shopping. Then we went back to her friends house and waited till it was time for me to leave.
And now i'm here and it's boiling, it's so hot. I'm not used to this heat anymore. Last year i came home in May, so it was still not this hot and got weened into the heat. This year i was just thrown into it. And the heat here is a really damp, humid one, so when it's really hot it feels really stuffy. Anyway, i'm just going to look forward to Beni and for J to come.
Happy summer everyone! Sorry for my depresing tones lol.
Wednesday, 10 June 2009
emotional polarity
I'm happy, but not happy at the same time. J took me to Alton Towers for my birthday on Monday, and it was incredible! I absolutely loved it, it was the best birthday present ever! We had such an amazing day, just the two of us with nothing to worry about.
However, as always, an amazing day can't just remain an amazing day can it? Just before we left i went to get my camera out of my back and it was soaked. I had a can of Relentless (which is like Red Bull) in my bag and somehow it had burst and my camera (which i bought over christmas) and my phone (which i got only back in March) were completely soaked. We took the batteries and cards and stuff out and dried them and when we got back to hers i tried to switch them on but they stayed off. Luckily my phone seems to be working again now, but the camera isn't and my laptop's still fucked. Buuttt anyway.
Yesterday J planned a little surprise party for me at K's flat :). They made some epic mexican food. Nachos to start with and then burritos and stuffed peppers. On top of the party and Alton Towers, she also bought me a dress for my birthday, i really can't believe how much she's done for over the past couple of days. The only person who's ever made such a fuss over me on my brithday is my mum! Lol.
The reason i'm feeling a little bit sad is because i'm going home tomorrow. I hated being away from her for a week in Aberdeen let alone not seeing her for a month. Plus i didn't do as well on one of my essays as i thought i would, and i'm a bit upset about it. Luckily we had a presentation to do to and that took my grade up to a C+ but now it's making me worry about all my other grades. Plus i'm in one of those "i can't see the point" moods. I'm looking forward to going home only to see my parents, i really just want to spend the first couple of weeks at home but i don't think my friends would like it. Also i'm not looking forward to having noone know that J and I are together. I've told everyone what she's done for me for my birthday but it's not the same, i really want them to know how amazing she is but i still don't have the guts to tell them. Then i have to start work and even though i enjoy it, work is still work. Then i have to worry about preparing for my final uni year next year, which i am dreading. If i don't get a 2:1 at least i really think my mum will kill me. Then i have to worry about what i want to do after uni cos that's only a year away, and if i want to continue studying i have to apply in October.
Eugh, plus to top it all off i've got my period. Greeaaat. And i'm worried i'm gonna have to pay overwight on my luggage.
I hope everyone else is a little bit more cheerful than i am! I have to go and finish packing all my crap and wait for J to finish work. The one good thing about going home is hopefully i can start blogging regularly again and keeping up with everyone else! Happy Wednesday, and Happy B'day to me lol :)
However, as always, an amazing day can't just remain an amazing day can it? Just before we left i went to get my camera out of my back and it was soaked. I had a can of Relentless (which is like Red Bull) in my bag and somehow it had burst and my camera (which i bought over christmas) and my phone (which i got only back in March) were completely soaked. We took the batteries and cards and stuff out and dried them and when we got back to hers i tried to switch them on but they stayed off. Luckily my phone seems to be working again now, but the camera isn't and my laptop's still fucked. Buuttt anyway.
Yesterday J planned a little surprise party for me at K's flat :). They made some epic mexican food. Nachos to start with and then burritos and stuffed peppers. On top of the party and Alton Towers, she also bought me a dress for my birthday, i really can't believe how much she's done for over the past couple of days. The only person who's ever made such a fuss over me on my brithday is my mum! Lol.
The reason i'm feeling a little bit sad is because i'm going home tomorrow. I hated being away from her for a week in Aberdeen let alone not seeing her for a month. Plus i didn't do as well on one of my essays as i thought i would, and i'm a bit upset about it. Luckily we had a presentation to do to and that took my grade up to a C+ but now it's making me worry about all my other grades. Plus i'm in one of those "i can't see the point" moods. I'm looking forward to going home only to see my parents, i really just want to spend the first couple of weeks at home but i don't think my friends would like it. Also i'm not looking forward to having noone know that J and I are together. I've told everyone what she's done for me for my birthday but it's not the same, i really want them to know how amazing she is but i still don't have the guts to tell them. Then i have to start work and even though i enjoy it, work is still work. Then i have to worry about preparing for my final uni year next year, which i am dreading. If i don't get a 2:1 at least i really think my mum will kill me. Then i have to worry about what i want to do after uni cos that's only a year away, and if i want to continue studying i have to apply in October.
Eugh, plus to top it all off i've got my period. Greeaaat. And i'm worried i'm gonna have to pay overwight on my luggage.
I hope everyone else is a little bit more cheerful than i am! I have to go and finish packing all my crap and wait for J to finish work. The one good thing about going home is hopefully i can start blogging regularly again and keeping up with everyone else! Happy Wednesday, and Happy B'day to me lol :)
Saturday, 9 May 2009
It's almost over
I handed in my essay on time, yay! I have one exam left, on the 19th, then my summer officially starts :) Yay xD
Thursday, 7 May 2009
Today, like all other days
I am procrastinating. Except the essay is due in tomorrow and i haven't even done the reading for it yet. *Blush*
Anyway, i am too excited about the prospect of not actually having any work to do. J and I were meant to be going to Birmingham this weekend but we can't afford it, but at least we have the weekend off to spend some time together. We spend a lot of time together, but it's usually at work or at home after work. Even though i love it when she stays over, even if it is just a sleepover, then we go off to work during the day and meet up again in the evening. She's at work till 1am now then she's coming here after.
I think night times and mornings are my favourite parts of the day with her. This morning i woke up and turned over to face her, i put my arm around her and she opened her eyes, looked at me and a massive smile spread across her face.
Last night we got into bed and she cuddled up against me, with her face nestled in my neck and her arm tightly around me and she fell asleep while i was watching tv. She looked so gorgeous, i wish i'd my camera handy so i could show you all how lovely she looked.
Anyway, enough with the soppy stuff. Here's a meme I nicked off Jess I am. You're meant to tag people and stuff, but i'm only doing it to avoid my work some more!
8 Things I Am Looking Forward To:
1. Going to sleep with J.
2. Waking up next to J
3. Finishing this essay
4. Possibly having a breast reduction!
5. Summer - the Maltese sun mainly
6. Benicassim Music Festival 2009.
7. J coming to Malta
8. Going to Aberdeen
8 Things I Did Yesterday:
1. Watched Chelsea being cheated out of the Champion's League Final :(
2. Had a giggle with J.
3. Wasted a lot of time
4. Went to the library at uni.
5. Considered getting a hamster
6. Drank a pint of beer
7. Ate a plate of chips and cheese
8. Avoided responsibilities (essay, laundry, dishes, shower, vacuuming etc.)
8 Things I Wish I Could Do:
1. Sing
2. Dance
3. Travel the world
4. Will my boobs smaller/back to bigger depending on my mood
5. Play the piano
6. Come out to my family and the rest of my friends
7. Finish this essay
8. Get a job that pays loads after i graduate
8 Shows I Watch:
Grey's Anatomy, Private Practice, Eastenders, The Hills, ANTM, QI, Big Bang Theory, Hollyoaks.
Voila.
Anyway, i am too excited about the prospect of not actually having any work to do. J and I were meant to be going to Birmingham this weekend but we can't afford it, but at least we have the weekend off to spend some time together. We spend a lot of time together, but it's usually at work or at home after work. Even though i love it when she stays over, even if it is just a sleepover, then we go off to work during the day and meet up again in the evening. She's at work till 1am now then she's coming here after.
I think night times and mornings are my favourite parts of the day with her. This morning i woke up and turned over to face her, i put my arm around her and she opened her eyes, looked at me and a massive smile spread across her face.
Last night we got into bed and she cuddled up against me, with her face nestled in my neck and her arm tightly around me and she fell asleep while i was watching tv. She looked so gorgeous, i wish i'd my camera handy so i could show you all how lovely she looked.
Anyway, enough with the soppy stuff. Here's a meme I nicked off Jess I am. You're meant to tag people and stuff, but i'm only doing it to avoid my work some more!
8 Things I Am Looking Forward To:
1. Going to sleep with J.
2. Waking up next to J
3. Finishing this essay
4. Possibly having a breast reduction!
5. Summer - the Maltese sun mainly
6. Benicassim Music Festival 2009.
7. J coming to Malta
8. Going to Aberdeen
8 Things I Did Yesterday:
1. Watched Chelsea being cheated out of the Champion's League Final :(
2. Had a giggle with J.
3. Wasted a lot of time
4. Went to the library at uni.
5. Considered getting a hamster
6. Drank a pint of beer
7. Ate a plate of chips and cheese
8. Avoided responsibilities (essay, laundry, dishes, shower, vacuuming etc.)
8 Things I Wish I Could Do:
1. Sing
2. Dance
3. Travel the world
4. Will my boobs smaller/back to bigger depending on my mood
5. Play the piano
6. Come out to my family and the rest of my friends
7. Finish this essay
8. Get a job that pays loads after i graduate
8 Shows I Watch:
Grey's Anatomy, Private Practice, Eastenders, The Hills, ANTM, QI, Big Bang Theory, Hollyoaks.
Voila.
Wednesday, 6 May 2009
Wednesday Weirdness #54
1.) Name 3 people in history whom you would invite to a dinner party?
Marilyn Monroe, Jesus and Anne Frank.
2.) Are there any conspiracy theories that you believe could be true?
Nooooo not really
3.) What's a weapon that you feel suits your personality?
My sarcasm, it can often stop me getting into arguments because i say how i feel and they blame it on my humour!
4.) If you had to let someone off of a cooking show prepare a meal for you and your family, who would you pick and why?
Gordon Ramsey definitely. Number 1, he seems to be a pretty damn good chef. No 2., he's hot.
5.) What brand of sliced sandwich bread do you buy most often?
Warburtons
6.) How often do you try new things in bed?
We try new things quite often, but we usually end up in the same position anyway lol no matter how we start off.
In other news..
I finished my analysis at 5am last night. It was really easy in the end and if i had just started it and if i wasn't so easily distracted i would have been able to finish it much earlier. But anywaysss.
Also, i have work at 6pm tonight but i rang in sick so i can go and watch the football. Muahahahaha. Serves the bastards right for cutting down my hours. I can do it cos they are MY hours, they can't.
Marilyn Monroe, Jesus and Anne Frank.
2.) Are there any conspiracy theories that you believe could be true?
Nooooo not really
3.) What's a weapon that you feel suits your personality?
My sarcasm, it can often stop me getting into arguments because i say how i feel and they blame it on my humour!
4.) If you had to let someone off of a cooking show prepare a meal for you and your family, who would you pick and why?
Gordon Ramsey definitely. Number 1, he seems to be a pretty damn good chef. No 2., he's hot.
5.) What brand of sliced sandwich bread do you buy most often?
Warburtons
6.) How often do you try new things in bed?
We try new things quite often, but we usually end up in the same position anyway lol no matter how we start off.
In other news..
I finished my analysis at 5am last night. It was really easy in the end and if i had just started it and if i wasn't so easily distracted i would have been able to finish it much earlier. But anywaysss.
Also, i have work at 6pm tonight but i rang in sick so i can go and watch the football. Muahahahaha. Serves the bastards right for cutting down my hours. I can do it cos they are MY hours, they can't.
Anger, frustration, determination
It's 2.44am and i'm finally managing to get some work done. Hopefully i'll finish this before the morning so i can just touch touch it up tomorrow then have 2 days to work on my other assignment. Then Friday it'll finally be over, bar one exam.
I thought i'd give you a taster, sorry if it bores you lol but then you can imagine what i'm going through haha.
Analysis
Theme 1: Negative emotions
Throughout the text, Michael J. Fox seems to be expressing a great deal of frustration and anger, which seems to mainly be aimed towards the media and the government. On top of those two main emotions he also gave off a sense of annoyance and resentment.
Frustration
In every reading of the transcript, the main emotion coming through the text is that of frustration. Michael J. Fox begins by discussing his frustration when in 2000 he wrote a letter to then-Governor Bush. His frustration is clearly apparent when he explains that the President did not help with the stem cell research.
“..with one veto of his presidency chose to veto that, it really stung in the hearts of a lot of people counting on this.” (1: 11-12)
On top of that, he also appears to be frustrated with his medication and the effect they have on him. He admits that the symptoms can be hard to take.
“I go through a million cycles.. Sometimes it kicks in too hard and then you get what you call dyskinesia, which is that rocking motion.” (1:16-19)
The frustration seems to stem from the fact that medicine is unpredictable and he can never tell how bad the symptoms are going to be or when they are going to set in.
“It works with horrible side effects… But on any given day, I can’t design where I’m going to be at any given time. You just take the meds and hope for the best.” (1: 25-28)
I've written 500 words, which means 1000 to go. Yippeeeeeeeeeeee
I thought i'd give you a taster, sorry if it bores you lol but then you can imagine what i'm going through haha.
Analysis
Theme 1: Negative emotions
Throughout the text, Michael J. Fox seems to be expressing a great deal of frustration and anger, which seems to mainly be aimed towards the media and the government. On top of those two main emotions he also gave off a sense of annoyance and resentment.
Frustration
In every reading of the transcript, the main emotion coming through the text is that of frustration. Michael J. Fox begins by discussing his frustration when in 2000 he wrote a letter to then-Governor Bush. His frustration is clearly apparent when he explains that the President did not help with the stem cell research.
“..with one veto of his presidency chose to veto that, it really stung in the hearts of a lot of people counting on this.” (1: 11-12)
On top of that, he also appears to be frustrated with his medication and the effect they have on him. He admits that the symptoms can be hard to take.
“I go through a million cycles.. Sometimes it kicks in too hard and then you get what you call dyskinesia, which is that rocking motion.” (1:16-19)
The frustration seems to stem from the fact that medicine is unpredictable and he can never tell how bad the symptoms are going to be or when they are going to set in.
“It works with horrible side effects… But on any given day, I can’t design where I’m going to be at any given time. You just take the meds and hope for the best.” (1: 25-28)
I've written 500 words, which means 1000 to go. Yippeeeeeeeeeeee
Tuesday, 5 May 2009
Nothing will suffice
I have two assignments due in on Friday, and i've barely started either of them. I can't focus at all. You may have noticed, if you've read some of my posts, that i get bored really easily, i have a very short attention span and i am an expert procrastinator. Last minute work is my specialty. I have to analyse a transcript between Michael J Fox and Katie Couric from CBS for one of them, and i can't find anything in the text except frustration, frustration, frustration. He may not even be frustrated, but i really do not have the head for this.
The interview is hereif anyone would like to have a gander.
I really wish J could come over and we could get into bed, cuddle and watch crap tv together!
The interview is hereif anyone would like to have a gander.
I really wish J could come over and we could get into bed, cuddle and watch crap tv together!
Friday, 1 May 2009
The relief
Oh my god, i almost had a premature heart attack yesterday. After spending a week writing this stupid essay on schizophrenia, i thought i'd lost it. Luckily i'd just saved it in the wrong folder, but my god. I have never been so scared in my life. I thought i was going to have to stay up all night and rewrite the fucking thing cos it was due in today. Luckily i found it, so i took J out for dinner to celebrate and we spent the night at her friend's house, in a double bed! Ahh the luxury!
I still feel so completely happy with her, being with her just makes me excited about everything and anything. Next weekend we're going to Birmingham for our friend's birthday and i can't wait :). Unfortunately i have a research proposal and an interview analysis in for Friday, so i have to get those done before i can think about Birmingham. Boo
If anyone would like to read my essay, i'm rather happy with it, they can do by clicking here. It's about antipsychotic drugs and schizophrenia.
I have to have a shower and go to work. Yay.
I still feel so completely happy with her, being with her just makes me excited about everything and anything. Next weekend we're going to Birmingham for our friend's birthday and i can't wait :). Unfortunately i have a research proposal and an interview analysis in for Friday, so i have to get those done before i can think about Birmingham. Boo
If anyone would like to read my essay, i'm rather happy with it, they can do by clicking here. It's about antipsychotic drugs and schizophrenia.
I have to have a shower and go to work. Yay.
Wednesday, 29 April 2009
Love, life and work
I realise i haven't written any proper updates, i've just been filling in memes. Nothing much has happened really, apart from the doctor thing. I worked most of the weekend, which was crap cos it was a nice weekend weather-wise so noone wanted to go to the cinema, or eat inside a building with no natural light.
I've probably mentioned before that i work in a cinema. It's a fancy thing (at least it's meant to be) and there's a restaurant inside it, which is where J and I work. I'm a waitress. There's also another bar which has it's own screens and its meant to be a bit fancier than the rest of the cinema (it's called the director's lounge). The service should be better, you can take food and alcohol into the film, and the atmosphere is meant to be different. The only problem is tickets cost about £15 so unless there's a really good film on, its not very busy. Now in our restaurant we have a nice big 42" LCD tv, which we can watch when there's noone in (which at the moment is most of the time). In director's however, there is nothing. Just depressing music. It is so boring in there when it's not busy. And on Saturday i had a 10 hour shift in there. OH MY GOD. It was painful. Luckily i was sent home early but for 7 and a half hours i did fuck all. Abso-fucking-lutely nothing. I was in again on Sunday, but luckily back in 'our' restaurant. Again, in 5 hours i think i served 6 people.
Things with J and i are still really good. We've been together for 6 months now and this is fast becoming my longest, most serious, and probably best relationship ever. When i think about it, it still seems strange to me that the person i've found is a woman. Not that it matters, but you know, i wasn't expecting to meet a man let alone a woman. I guess it shows that you never know what to expect.
One way that i can tell that she really does love me is football. Yes, football. I mean soccer, not american football. So i'm an obsessive Chelsea fan, and last night there was a match on and J came along with me and she really got into it! Until a couple of months ago, she refused to come with me because she doesn't like football, and now she's willingly coming along with me. And she's also admitting that she's starting to enjoy it too!
We seem to finally be getting used to sleeping in a single bed together too lol. We used to sleep ok, but we'd wake up a lot in the middle of the night and we'd have quilt steling and space stealing problems. I think we're used to it now cos we both have enough space, enough quilt, and we both sleep through the night now. By the time i get back to Derby after the summer she'd have moved in with her best friend, who lives in town, so it means we'll finally have a double bed. We do stay at hers sometimes but not often because she lives in the suburbs not in the town centre, which is where i live. So its easier for the both of us because of work and uni if she stays here.
Anyway, i'm going to make some food and then continue my schizophrenia essay. Ponder this:
To what extent does the use of antipsychotic drugs as treatment for schizophrenia inform us about its underlying cause?
That's the question i have to answer. It's quite straight forward, i just have to get down to it and hopefully i'll have it finished by tonight. Fingers crossed!
I've probably mentioned before that i work in a cinema. It's a fancy thing (at least it's meant to be) and there's a restaurant inside it, which is where J and I work. I'm a waitress. There's also another bar which has it's own screens and its meant to be a bit fancier than the rest of the cinema (it's called the director's lounge). The service should be better, you can take food and alcohol into the film, and the atmosphere is meant to be different. The only problem is tickets cost about £15 so unless there's a really good film on, its not very busy. Now in our restaurant we have a nice big 42" LCD tv, which we can watch when there's noone in (which at the moment is most of the time). In director's however, there is nothing. Just depressing music. It is so boring in there when it's not busy. And on Saturday i had a 10 hour shift in there. OH MY GOD. It was painful. Luckily i was sent home early but for 7 and a half hours i did fuck all. Abso-fucking-lutely nothing. I was in again on Sunday, but luckily back in 'our' restaurant. Again, in 5 hours i think i served 6 people.
Things with J and i are still really good. We've been together for 6 months now and this is fast becoming my longest, most serious, and probably best relationship ever. When i think about it, it still seems strange to me that the person i've found is a woman. Not that it matters, but you know, i wasn't expecting to meet a man let alone a woman. I guess it shows that you never know what to expect.
One way that i can tell that she really does love me is football. Yes, football. I mean soccer, not american football. So i'm an obsessive Chelsea fan, and last night there was a match on and J came along with me and she really got into it! Until a couple of months ago, she refused to come with me because she doesn't like football, and now she's willingly coming along with me. And she's also admitting that she's starting to enjoy it too!
We seem to finally be getting used to sleeping in a single bed together too lol. We used to sleep ok, but we'd wake up a lot in the middle of the night and we'd have quilt steling and space stealing problems. I think we're used to it now cos we both have enough space, enough quilt, and we both sleep through the night now. By the time i get back to Derby after the summer she'd have moved in with her best friend, who lives in town, so it means we'll finally have a double bed. We do stay at hers sometimes but not often because she lives in the suburbs not in the town centre, which is where i live. So its easier for the both of us because of work and uni if she stays here.
Anyway, i'm going to make some food and then continue my schizophrenia essay. Ponder this:
To what extent does the use of antipsychotic drugs as treatment for schizophrenia inform us about its underlying cause?
That's the question i have to answer. It's quite straight forward, i just have to get down to it and hopefully i'll have it finished by tonight. Fingers crossed!
Monday, 27 April 2009
BOREDOM
I. Am. So. Bored. I'm meant to be writing a critical summary of an article, which is due in tomorrow. I know it won't take me long, but i can't be bothered. It's a Monday night and everyone else is out drinking, and i might as well be there too cos i'm not actually getting any work done.
I am insanely bored, crazy, madly bored. Its too much! I can't be bothered, i just want the uni year to be over!
I'm going to get back to avoiding my article on cognitive complexity and attentional control. Yay.
I am insanely bored, crazy, madly bored. Its too much! I can't be bothered, i just want the uni year to be over!
I'm going to get back to avoiding my article on cognitive complexity and attentional control. Yay.
Thursday, 23 April 2009
Everlasting boredom
My essay's due in tomorrow and i haven't finished it yet and i just can't seem to focus on it. I feel like a social hermit, all i do is go to uni, work and back home. I haven't even seen J since Friday, except for like half an hour at uni on Monday, cos she's been at home writing her dissertation.
I. Can't. Be. Bothered!
I don't understand anything and i definitely don't enjoy this part of psychology. I just need to get it over with and move on to the next one. And obviously cos i've not been doing very much i don't really have anything to blog about!
Also, my back's been worse than it's been for a long time. I think it's aggrevated by the stress (as well as the boobs). It's the kind of pain where if you move too much, you end up stuck in that position. Like an 80 year old woman. And i'm 19.
On the upside, i have a doctor's appointment tomorrow, and i'm going to practically beg for them to give me a breast reduction. Fingers crossed!
I. Can't. Be. Bothered!
I don't understand anything and i definitely don't enjoy this part of psychology. I just need to get it over with and move on to the next one. And obviously cos i've not been doing very much i don't really have anything to blog about!
Also, my back's been worse than it's been for a long time. I think it's aggrevated by the stress (as well as the boobs). It's the kind of pain where if you move too much, you end up stuck in that position. Like an 80 year old woman. And i'm 19.
On the upside, i have a doctor's appointment tomorrow, and i'm going to practically beg for them to give me a breast reduction. Fingers crossed!
Tuesday, 21 April 2009
An essay comparing and contrasting the theoretical background of DP with that of IPA.
Interpretative phenomenological analysis (IPA) and discursive psychology (DP) are two of the most prominent methods of research analysis in qualitative methods. Smith (2008) states that “the aim of IPA is to explore in detail how participants make sense of their personal and social world.” On the other hand, DP is “an approach that treats psychology as an object in and for interaction” (Potter, 2005).
I. Cannot. Concentrate. At. All. This is essay is due in Friday and all I've done is half the introduction, which is absically a couple of quotes strung together with a few well-suited words. I saw J yesterday but only for about half an hour at uni. I haven't seen her since Friday before that, and all i can think about is when she comes over later! And when we go to Birmingham in two weeks for other J's birthday. And staying at hers when her parents go away. And going to Beni in July. And J and the others coming to Malta in August. Basically anything except my essay on interpretative phenomenological analysis and discursive psychology (took me about 5 minutes to write that sentence).
Also, as you may or may not have realised from my last few posts, i can't stop thinking about sex. With J. She's at home writing her dissertation, and all we seem to talk about when we're not together is sex. Which doesn't relly help seeing as we're both really busy at them moment and we can't see each other as often as we normally do. It's driving me insaaane!
This doesn't really help either.
I. Cannot. Concentrate. At. All. This is essay is due in Friday and all I've done is half the introduction, which is absically a couple of quotes strung together with a few well-suited words. I saw J yesterday but only for about half an hour at uni. I haven't seen her since Friday before that, and all i can think about is when she comes over later! And when we go to Birmingham in two weeks for other J's birthday. And staying at hers when her parents go away. And going to Beni in July. And J and the others coming to Malta in August. Basically anything except my essay on interpretative phenomenological analysis and discursive psychology (took me about 5 minutes to write that sentence).
Also, as you may or may not have realised from my last few posts, i can't stop thinking about sex. With J. She's at home writing her dissertation, and all we seem to talk about when we're not together is sex. Which doesn't relly help seeing as we're both really busy at them moment and we can't see each other as often as we normally do. It's driving me insaaane!
This doesn't really help either.
Sunday, 19 April 2009
Londontown
Now usually, i absolutely fucking LOVE london. Everything about it, the hustle and bustle, the lights, the traffic, the tube, the football and definitely the shopping. So my lovely dad got me a ticket for the FA cup semi-final today (which we won thank god, otherwise i'd have been mighty pissed off) and obviously i wanted to come, no hesitation. However, my mum wasn't too keen on me going to a footie match on my own, so my dad and i havent told her. She thinks i've been at work all day. I feel so bad for lying to my mum, but i know that if she knew the truth it would cause arguments back home. So anyway, the point of this is, as much as i love london and football, today has been an excessively stressful day. It took me almost 3 hours to get back to my friend's, where i'm staying for the night. The match lasts 90 minutes! I've spent more time travelling than actually watching football. Then they'd waited for me to have dinner, but i'd already eaten. I felt so bad, so i didn't tell them and said i was feeling ill. I've never felt more uncomfortable in london. Plus i've turned into a love sick puppy and miss J loads. What is this world coming to?! I have no hope! Oh, and i'm feeling more stressed than ever about uni work :(
Tuesday, 14 April 2009
Waterworks
I'm really stressing out at the moment, i have so much uni work to do but there doesn't seem to be any time. I want to have a life and still manage to do my work, but cos i've been home for 2 weeks i've done fuck all and now i'm feeling really stressed, the kind that makes my heart feel like it isn't strong enough and my lungs feel like they're not taking in enough oxygen. That plus my hormones means i started crying about half an hour ago and now i cant stop. Plus i'm worrying about my finances, cos i've had 2 weeks off work so i'm going to have 2 weeks with no pay cheque. Brilliant. Plus it also means i'll have to work more hours to make up for it, which means less time to do my 7 lovely assignments. I also want to spend time with J cos i'm coming back home in June and i won't see her till July.. There isn't any time to do anything!!
Add to that my terrible procrastination habit and i stand no chance.
Add to that my terrible procrastination habit and i stand no chance.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
