Election confusion

With the English election getting closer and closer, and the power of the EU allowing me to vote, I am insanely confused about who to vote for. I've watched the debates, read the articles and still have no idea. First, I came across this website mygayvote.co.uk, which makes it obvious that Conservatives are a no-go. It all seemed pretty simple before, get Labour out of government for a number of reasons by voting conservative. Not happening, especially after this came out yesterday: Tory candidate Philip Lardner suspended for gay comment. They may have suspended him but the conservative party is just that, so Mr. Lardner is probably not on his own, he's just the only one stupid enough to speak out about it.
Next i came across this How should I vote in the general election 2010? on the Telegraph website. You answer a number of questions and then choose the parties you would like to compare your results with. Whilst there no questions on gay issues, I thought it would be interesting to see anyway. I chose Labour, Tories and Lib Dems, since no one else really has a chance, and the BNP just for a laugh. Lo and behold, according to this questionnaire my top match (With about 45%) was with the BNP!! Second were Lib Dems (44%). It didn't really make sense to me, shouldn't they have polar opposite policies? The Lib Dems aren't so harsh about Immigration, which is one of BNP's biggest issues. Who knows.
Finally, I would like to vote Lib Dem. However, with the way seats are distributed, even if they achieve an overall majority, they still won't have enough seats in parliament. For this reason my dad thinks I should vote conservative, just to keep labour out. But I do not want to vote conservative, mainly for the reasons mentioned above. So J thinks we should vote labour since they are the lesser of two evils when it comes to issues that affect us.

Who knows, it's all too confusing. Malta's elections are so much easier, where you are 'born' into a party, the whole family would have been supporting them since the beginning of time and you basically have no choice in the matter. This is too much responsibility for a 20 year old, confused, gay/bi foreign person to take in!

In other less confusing but just as life-changing news, I came across a post-graduate course that sounds perfect for me. PERFECT. It's a Doctor of Educational and Child Psychology at the University of Sheffield, which is ranked number 18 in England overall and number 11 in England for Psychology. When I came across it yesterday I got so excited, I considered changing my plans for next year. It's close to Derby so i could commute, but then I remembered why I chose to take a year out. I'm not ready for a full on three year doctorate course and I definitely can't afford. I told J about it and she told me to apply for it, but anyway applications for September 2010 are closed, but in a few months I can and will apply for 2011. I think the thing I'm excited the most about is having a Doctorate by the time I'm 25! J said she would move to anywhere with me, so we could move to Sheffield if we fancied it too.

I am stupidly excited about the future, the near future, the distant future and anything that might happen in between. I've handed my dissertation in and I'm really happy with it. I'M SO EXCITED!

Gay for J - A vlog rant

Some people say some ridiculous things to me.

I can hardly wait

Some of you may have seen this, if you have I'm sure you will want to watch it again. If you haven't seen it, you should definitely watch it now.



TMI Tuesday

1. Commando: Sexy or disgusting? Do you have a "best" commando story?
Not sexy but not necessarily disgusting. Definitely uncomfortable.

2. Foreplay: Is there such a thing as too much?
No, until it gets too much that you feel like you're going to explode if the sex doesn't happen.

3. Oral sex: Good if you are getting? Good is you are giving? Equally ewwwww?
Good, all the time. Giving, receiving, upside down, right way round, it's ALWAYS ALWAYS EPICLY BRILLIANT.

4. Orgasm: Is one per night enough or does the first one just get your motor running?
Depends on the mood!

5. Morning sex: "Oh hell yes!", "Well if I have, too." or "Just get in the shower and go to work."
Sex at any time of the day is yoh hell yes, and morning;s no different.

Bonus (as in optional): Have you ever had anonymous sex? Have you ever had an orgasm without at least knowing your partner's last name?
I have not had anonymous sex, I've always known the person's name at least. J's is the only person who's made me come and I definitely know who she is lol.

It hurts a little bit

Random facts about me

I am wasting time as always...

Ask me anything: Formspring

Some people never learn

I have wanted to blog about this for a while but have never got round to it. Now it's getting to me so I need some advice from you wise people in blogland. My friend A has been seeing this girl for about 10 months. This girl, let's call her GF, came into A's life at a very hard time in A's life as her mum had just died of cancer. Literally just, they started seeing each other a couple of weeks before. I wasn't in Derby at the time, I was back home, but I spoke to A and she said she was doing ok.

They made their relationship 'official' around end of August time I think, just before I came back. However, GF is a couple of years younger than A and wasn't happy being tied down, so between August and January they split up and got back together, or split up and started seeing each other, or were in an open relationship loads of times. Each time I would tell A you need some time away from her to clear your head, but they kept sleeping together and getting back together.

Now, after the last time they split up, which was just before Christmas, everything seemed ok. They seemed happy together, they went on holiday together (which A paid for, but the financial dependence thing is a whole nother story) and everything seemed fine and dandy.

A couple of weeks ago GF started acting weird again, she told A she was bored and she need space from her. A gave her space, but when she did, GF would ring her and ask her to go round because she missed her. Hello?? Did you not just say you wanted space?? Anyway, this went on for a couple of weeks, then one night GF split up with A, spent the night with her and then changed her mind in the morning and promised she would help to try and make things better.

Now, one of the reasons things weren't as good between them was that GF had started spending time with her ex-girlfriend again, and the last time she had done this she had ended up sleeping with her (though she and A were 'on a break' at the time). Anyway, A said she didn't like that she was seeing her ex again, mainly because she acts really secretive about it.

Finally, last week GF split up with A and said it had nothing to do with said ex. However, GF had been using one of A's old phone, and when she took it back she found texts that basically showed she had kissed her ex and told her they were on a break when they were actually still together. At least A thought they were.

I'm not an expert or anything, but I have had my heart broken and I told A that she needs time away from GF because she's not been very nice to her, she's used her, she's selfish and unappreciative and A doesn't need it. I feel bad for getting angry about it but how else is she going to manage to get over her? Or at least show her that she might lose her for good if she doesn't pull her act together? Every time she needs anything, A goes running back, spending the night, buying food and clothes for her (even though GF still lives at home). So GF seems to think that whenever she needs anything A will do/give it to her, which she will to be fair.

Facebook hasn't helped either as I saw a post yesterday where GF invited one her friend's round to A's. And A has invited me to a show and GF is going too, and when I asked why this is she said that it was pre-planned, which I don't believe because I know she would have told me about it sooner if that was the case. Gah. Rant over.

Basically my point is, how would you get through to this girl? Make her understand that GF is bad for her and that no matter how hard it is, what she really needs is time away from her. Because I have no idea how to do it and I'm getting a bit annoyed that she complains and complains yet does nothing about it. This sounds really insensitive but it's true! Anyway, any help would be very welcome!

I remember everything

I remember the first time I met you and I thought you didn't like me because you barely spoke to me.

I remember the first time you invited me out.

I remember when you and A asked me if I was gay in the taxi and I said no, even though I wanted to say yes, even though I didn't think I was gay.

I remember walking back from work with you and laughing all the way.

I remember the first time I saw you with you hair down, you looked so beautiful and I was so surprised that the back was shorter than the front.

I remember standing at the end of the bar laughing madly.

I remember when you were sitting at the end of the bar before a shift and I was standing behind the bar and you invited me out again and Berry was sitting next to you and she warned that you might rape me if I went out.

I remember changing my plans that week to go out with you that night.

I remember buying a new outfit for the night.

I remember how gorgeous you looked in your skinny jeans and cardi. I fell in love with your boobs on that day.

I remember feeling excited and nervous when your thigh rubbed against mine under the table.

I remember kissing you for the first time, feeling things I had never felt before when I kissed someone for the first time.

I remember stumbling home with you.

I remember lying naked underneath you and feeling more nervous than I had ever felt in my life.

I remember feeling happy and confident the next morning.

I remember the texts you sent me when I went away that day for a few days. I remember the way they made me smile, so much so that my friend assumed I was texting a boy.

I remember when you told me that you were with Vicky now. I remember when you came over and told me you didn't want to be with her.

I remember when you came over stinking drunk after I'd finished work and passed out on my bed in just your bra and nothing else.

I remember meeting your friends for the first time, some of whom I'm really close to now, and feeling insanely nervous.

I remember going out most nights of the week together, but whenever anyone asked us if we were together the answer was always no.

I remember thinking I would never be able to call you my girlfriend because I was definitely straight, even though we had been sleeping together for a month.

I remember the day when I realised I wanted to call you my girlfriend.

I remember being happier than I'd ever been in those first three months, but still thinking it would go nowhere.

I remember the day when I realised I was falling in love with you.

And I still fall in love with you more everyday. ♥

Beautiful voices sooth me

As many people do, I use Twitter mainly to stalk celebrities who like to be more candid on Twitter than they would ever be normally and ever were before the existence of Twitter. I follow the wonderful Sia on Twitter and she led me to my new favourite artist who goes by the name of Jess Harnel. She's Australian and unfortunately her album is only available in Australia at the moment (from what I gather anyway), but with a bit of digging i have managed to listen to the whole album, called 'Neon Heartache', and I am in love with it.

Plus I think she's gay. She must be, look at her.. Bit dykey, oui? And she sings about a girl leaving her in one her songs called 'Stay', as well as in other songs, another one called 'Meanwhile' mentions a 'she' and one of the lyrics is 'we kiss like lovers'. I might be relatively new to the wonderful world of lesbians but surely they are big give-aways! Anyway, she's brilliant, she's a mix of soul, indie and hip hop and her voice is ridiculously soothing. I'll let you decide for yourself. The song below is 'I Go', one of the only two songs I found of hers on youtube. There are others but they're live and they never sound as good do they. Enjoy :)

Coupley things

Don't you just love the little coupley things you do or have done with a partner? Little things that make you feel like you really connect and other people can only look into your world and not be a part of it. I love the little things J and I do.

• We say yes in different languages to each other. Mainly in French and in Maltese. I love how she sounds when she speaks to me in a foreign language, especially when she says 'oui' or 'iva'. In fact i just bought a necklace with 'oui' written onto a small coin and i love it (from junkjewels.co.uk).
• Before we sleep we always cuddle, usually with my head on her shoulder. When we're ready to sleep we roll away and sleep back to back. As soon as we wake up in the morning, without opening our eyes, we automatically turn round to face each other and start cuddling again. Because i'm smaller, i'm usually the one who gets squeezed and snuggled the most :). The mornings are my favourite time of day for this reason.
• Whenever we have disagreements (luckily we don't argue much), we tend to go a bit squealy, we sound like screeching cats lol. To relieve the tension, one of us usually says 'miaooww' and we both start giggling and the tension goes away!

Those are my favourite coupley things about us. There are loads more, but these are the ones that happen most often and that make me most smiley.

What are your coupley things?

Oh, I can't wait for Glee to start again :)