Saturday, 3 April 2010

I remember everything

I remember the first time I met you and I thought you didn't like me because you barely spoke to me.
I remember the first time you invited me out.
I remember when you and A asked me if I was gay in the taxi and I said no, even though I wanted to say yes, even though I didn't think I was gay.
I remember walking back from work with you and laughing all the way.
I remember the first time I saw you with you hair down, you looked so beautiful and I was so surprised that the back was shorter than the front.
I remember standing at the end of the bar laughing madly.
I remember when you were sitting at the end of the bar before a shift and I was standing behind the bar and you invited me out again and Berry was sitting next to you and she warned that you might rape me if I went out.
I remember changing my plans that week to go out with you that night.
I remember buying a new outfit for the night.
I remember how gorgeous you looked in your skinny jeans and cardi. I fell in love with your boobs on that day.
I remember feeling excited and nervous when your thigh rubbed against mine under the table.
I remember kissing you for the first time, feeling things I had never felt before when I kissed someone for the first time.
I remember stumbling home with you.
I remember lying naked underneath you and feeling more nervous than I had ever felt in my life.
I remember feeling happy and confident the next morning.
I remember the texts you sent me when I went away that day for a few days. I remember the way they made me smile, so much so that my friend assumed I was texting a boy.
I remember when you told me that you were with Vicky now. I remember when you came over and told me you didn't want to be with her.
I remember when you came over stinking drunk after I'd finished work and passed out on my bed in just your bra and nothing else.
I remember meeting your friends for the first time, some of whom I'm really close to now, and feeling insanely nervous.
I remember going out most nights of the week together, but whenever anyone asked us if we were together the answer was always no.

I remember thinking I would never be able to call you my girlfriend because I was definitely straight, even though we had been sleeping together for a month.

I remember the day when I realised I wanted to call you my girlfriend.

I remember being happier than I'd ever been in those first three months, but still thinking it would go nowhere.

I remember the day when I realised I was falling in love with you.

And I still fall in love with you more everyday. ♥