Tuesday, 31 March 2009

Today... And tomorrow

Today was such a lovely day. We woke up, had a cuddle, had amazing sex and went out for lunch. It was actually sunny! Bought the paper and sat in the beer garden eating. It was so nice! Then we went shopping, didn't buy much but that wasn't the point lol. We're always so busy that we hardly ever get to spend full days together anymore, and what with me leaving tomorrow, it was a really nice way to spend the day. I wish she was coming home with me for a little bit though, but ah well.

I'm really looking forward to going home. Haven't been back since December, plus it's going to be nice and sunny and warm and it's now getting dark later. Plus I get to see my family and friends, and my dogs!

But yeah, not much else to say. I have to finish my essay before tomorrow too. Boo :(

Saturday, 28 March 2009

Vagina Dentata

Wow, you can really tell I'm trying to write an essay cos I'm posting so much. Anyway, I was looking up 'normative beliefs' in my very trusty Oxford Dictionary of Psychology, and like I always do I started flicking through the back to get to the letter N, and the first page I stopped on was a V page (accidentally!). Underneath vagina there's this definiton, which made me giggle, mainly because I'm bored, and it reminds me of a film which recently came out. It amused me mainly because I had no idea that it was an actual psychological disorder.

Vagina Dentata
n. a fantasy of a toothed vagina, a legendary hazard associated with sexual intercourse. The Austrian psychoanalyist Otto Rank (1884 - 1939) first identified it, in his book The Trauma of Birth (1924) as a widespread cause of anxiety amongst neurotic men (obviously women were the cause of men's prolems!), and it was explored further by the Hungarian psychoanalyst Sandor Ferenczi (1873 - 1933). The counterpart fantasy among women, called penis dentata (toothed penis) is less commonly observed. [From Latin vagina a sheath + dentata toothed, from dens, dentis a tooth].

Ooh, I have to get ready for dinner now, boo.

Urban Dictionary

Instructions: Go to and type in your answer to each question in the search box, then write the FIRST definition it gives you. I guarantee you're gonna find some pretty hilarious results.

1. Your name: Sophie

an all around cool chick

from greek meaning wisdom

that girl over there's a sophie

2. Age: 19

To "be 19", or to have "gone 19" essentially means that something has gone wrong, is just plain weird, or is inexplicable. Derived from Stephen King's 'Dark Tower' series. Its true meaning, if anything more than a motif, has yet to be revealed.

"Welcome to the 19th level of The Dark Tower."

"The whole fucking world has gone 19."

3. One of your friends: Jodie

A sexual position known for its intense orgasm and high rate of death by explosion in the female of the species. (HAHA!)

Dave: ''I had sex last night with my bitch, and had a Jodie!''
Colin: ''Dude! what did your wife think about that!?''
Dave: ''Literally mind blowin!''

4. What you should be doing: Working

A term to describe the tedious and boring indentured servitude that most people are forced to endure to get money. Generally, not a pleasant experience.

"No, I can't come to the party tonight. I'm working late."

5. Fave colour: Blue

The hue of the portion of the visible spectrum lying between green and indigo, evoked in a human observer by radiant energy with wavelengths of approximately 420 to 490 nanometers.

The sky is blue.

6. Fave number: 8

The ordinal number '8' is often used in place of the phonemes that would make the sound 'ate' in written English. I say 'often', I actually mean 'often (by bumpers)' The habit could have originally developed among linux {fucktard]s in chatrooms, or 14 year old scrubbers text messaging on mobile phones. Either that or from 'old-school' rave act Altern8 (still DJ-ing in and around Stoke-on-Trent, kids!) Whichever way you look at it, it looks shit and dosn't make you look cool.

"C U L8R M8!!!!!"

"He was a sk8r boi..."

"I'd rather menstru8 a ten ton w8 than write in such an illiter8 way, dude."

7. Month of your birthday: June

The month the hottest people in the world are born.

DAMN! i'm hot i was born in june!

8. Last person you talked to: Izzy

a sexy girl also who goes by the name of izzy,herb,isobel,bell,bella.

wow that girl was a real foxy izzy!

9. One of your nicknames: Pupa

Italian, meaning "little doll"

As a term of endearment; from an Italian man: "you are my sweet pupa"

10. One word to describe you: Messy

When something is out of control in a good way

This party is messy!

Ok now I'm really going to work for longer than 15 minutes!

Wednesday Weirdness #48

1.) What is your significant others worst habit?
Probably burping! And making fun of my accent.

2.) What piece of clothing that isn't lingerie or an undergarment do you have that you feel especially sexy/handsome in?
A dress that cost me about £12 from Primark, simply cos Jodie thinks I look amazing in it.

3.) If you could drink ONLY two beverages for the rest of your life, which would you pick?
If no health issues were involved, it would be coke and cider.

4.) What is your worst habit?
Being annoying!

5.) Are you superstitious in any way?
Yes, sometimes. I believe in lucky charms and things like that.

6.) What kind of shopping do you hate doing most? (Grocery shopping, clothes shopping, shoe shopping, etc)
I'm the worst girly girl, I actually love any kind of shopping. Even grocery shopping, furniture shopping. Actually I think dress shopping, I enjoy it but my boobs don't fit into any average sizes.

7.) What was a “fad” you remember from your childhood?
Loads! Yoyos, pokemon cards, pogs..

Wednesday Weirdness!

Friday, 27 March 2009

Procrastination.. so much more appealing than actual work. I'm going home for easter next Wednesday and I have at least one essay to write before I leave. But there are so many more interesting things to do! So I'll post a photo instead :).

Back when I was straight, and she was just a friend. Only a few hours before though lol.

Wednesday, 25 March 2009

A little about me

So nothing much has happened over the past couple of days. Yesterday I saw a bit about dogs that can detect cancer and diabetes. I love dogs and think they're the most amazing animals, and this just proves it! I'm also completely in love with my phone. It's a Nokia 5800. I spent my two hour seminar on the internet yesterday, mainly on facebook and googling random things. When i say random things, I mean googling my phone to read all the reviews about ti and how much better it is than the iPhone. It's fantastic!

Yesterday evening Jodie and I went to Pizza Express and then to the cinema to watch Lesbian Vampire Killers. There's a restaurant in the cinema here and we both work in there, I'm a waitress and she works behind the bar so we get 2 free tickets each a week and we go to the cinema quite often. Anyway, Lesbian Vampire Killers was crap, which we expected it to be, but hilarious crap. Worth watching if you want something that will just numb you out for an hour and a half. Plus it has James Corden and Matt Horne in it, and together they make the film a good watch. Even though their characters in the film are the same characters they play in Gavin and Stacey, at least they're good at them.

Anyway, on to me. I don't like writing long about me sections, so I'm going to write all the most important stuff here. I'm 19, I grew up in Malta, a very catholic, very tiny island in the middle of the mediterranean sea. I moved to Derby, UK, in September 2007 to study Psychology at the University of Derby. I'm now at the end of my second year and shitting it cos I have so much work to do. Like I mentioned above, I work as a waitress in a restaurant, which is in a cinema (a lot of people get confused about this, I tell them I work in the cinema and that I'm a waitress and they think I have 2 jobs). I have another job, which at the moment I only do once a week, and I'm a teacher's assistant sort of thing in after school classes for kids. I love kids and plan to become a child psychologist.

I have a mother, father and an 17 (alomost 18!) year old brother. My parents split up and got back together a couple of times, now they're not together but they still live together, for our sake. We're a very close family, and I would normally tell them everything, but they still don't know I have a girlfriend. My brother knows, but I haven't told my parents yet. I love living in another country because having a girlfriend and being open about it is possible here, at home it wouldn't be. I don't know many people in Derby, the ones I do know obviously know about us and I don't really care about the ones I don't know. A couple of my closest friends back home know, but the more people I tell, the more chance there is that people I don't want to know will find out. Malta's like one enormous village full of gossips, and if something happens, regardless of what it is, you can be sure that everyone will found out at some point.

Does anyone else feel like they're living 2 lives sometimes?

Monday, 23 March 2009

The strangeness and confusingness of it all

I'm in a frustrated mood. I cried a lot yesterday and a bit today, and I haven't cried in ages because I've been so happy recently. And then I lose my temper, and even though she's acting normal, there's just something a bit off. We do spend a lot of time together, and fair enough she's spending the evening with her best mate, but I don't know when I'm going to see her, plus we've only spent one proper day together in ages. It's just that I'm going home in a week, and just before yesterday things were brilliant. But anyway I'm just making a fuss. She annoyed me because about a month ago I asked her if she wanted to come with me to dinner for my friend's birthday, and she very obvioulsy didn't want to but said she would, because obviously I want her there. A couple of weeks ago I told her I was going to book the night off work and she told me to book hers off too, so I did. Then yesterday she got annoyed cos she has less hours cos she has the Saturday off. Why do people do that? Why did she tell me she'd come with me when she didn't really want to? But anyway...

I still find it strange that I'm so in love with her. Everytime I see her smile my heart literally skips a beat, and whenever we're not together I can't stop thinking about her. Like now. Considering I'd never had feelings for another woman before it still feels a bit surreal when I think about it. And usually things are amazing between us, the cheesy annoying kind of great where you just stare at each other and smile like a twat.

I really wish she was staying over tonight.

Wednesday, 18 March 2009

Starting again

It happened in October and since then I haven't looked back, I haven't been this happy in ages and it all came so naturally to me that i never thought twice about it.

Everyone here knows, but only a couple of my friends back home now, and my brother. I'm so happy and in love that it kills me not being able to share it, especially with my parents, but i don't think i'm ready for them to know yet. Even saying it out loud is still hard. "My girlfriend".. It holds so much weight and can cause different reactions which i'm not used to, I didn't really care at the beginning, i didn't think it would go anywhere, i thought it was just a little fling, 'friends with benefits' kind of thing. And now it's this and i can't (and don't want to) imagine my life without her, now it's starting to sink in.

It didn't shake me up at first. I don't care whether i'm gay or straight or bi, i'm happy and that's all that counts isn't it? But now that the relationship's getting more serious, i feel slightly pressured, only by myself probably, to label myself. If i say i'm not gay, i worry that i'll offend her. It's obvious that i'm not straight, but am i gay? I don't really fancy girls, or guys, just her, so i can't really compare. Plus i'm in that mushy stage where i can't even do the "what if you broke up, would you go for a guy or another girl?.." I genuinely don't know. So i'll stick with bi, or straight with lesbian tendencies. Or just one tendency that's going to last.