Tuesday, 30 June 2009

Coming out part 2 & TMI Tuesday #193

1. How many speeding tickets have you had? Accidents?
None, i don't drive.

2. Boxers, briefs or commando?
None, girly pants please.

3. Have you ever had sex in your office or your place of employment?
Yes, but i wasn't working at the time. J and i work in the cinema and we get two free tickets each a week, and she went down on me while we were watching confessions of a shopaholic. The film was crap so we needed some extra entertainment :)

4. Do you or your so own a motorcycle? Do you ever ride one? Do you wear a helmet when you ride?
No, but my ex had one so i have been on one. Only once or twice though, and i did wear a helmet.

5. Ever been skinny dipping?
Loads of times! Its essential in this heat.

Bonus: Ever been arrested? Turned someone in/had someone arrested?

Coming out part 2

On Sunday night Moby played in Malta (and Deadmau5, for anyone who might know of him). Unmissable, obviously. I went with T and some of her friends, and spent most of the day at her house beforehand. We had a taxi coming at 8pm and planned to get steaming drunk before, so we opened a bottle of rose at 3.30pm before the others arrived. At about 7pm we opened a bottle of vodka and poured half of it into a plastic bottle and topped it up with orange juice. We met the taxi, piled in and continued drinking till we got there, and then on the way down, somehow the topic turned to J and my sexuality. I can't seem to keep my mouth shut when i'm drunk.

T told me she'd guessed from facebook and twitter (emerging pattern! i always thought we were quite subtle on facebook!) and that she'd asked her dad and Sue who works with us what they thought (ohhh the awkwardness). She also said that my brother mentioned to her that i'd slept with J and that she was waiting for me to tell her myself. She then said that she got a bit offended that i took so long to tell her cos she is my best friend after all. To which i replied that i was really scared she'd act differently towards me and she said as if she would, i'm her best friend, her big sister and she loves me no matter what. Then the conversation got a bit weird.

T said she would never have imagined me to be gay and that she didn't think J looked like my type, from facebook. She thinks she looks too butch for me! Not that there's anything wrong with butch, but J isn't really butch at all, and in my drunken state i started squealing in her defense. T then went on another weird road, where she said she's worried about me being in a relationship with a girl cos she doesn't want me to hurt her. Fair enough. She said what if i'm not sure what if i'm not sure if i'm gay or not and decide that i'm not and then break her heart? I said we've been together for 8 months, if i had wanted cock it would've happened by now. She argued that i still fancy men (which i do) so how can i be sure? It was all rather strange, i wish it hadn't had happened when we were both fucked but at least it's done and she's acting exactly the same as before. I do worry that she won't like J though, which will kill me. She's added J on facebook though, so that's a plus.

J had said, before i'd told more of my friends, that she was worried that they wouldn't like me, but now that they know we're together she's even more worried. I told H this the other day and she said if i like her than they're bound to like her too. I love that girl. So we'll have to wait and see.

I can't wait to see her now. It's been almost three weeks and because she's never been in Malta with me, it also feels as if my relationship with her is just a dream, it almost doesn't feel real anymore. I really can. Not. Wait. Roll on July and Beni!

Friday, 26 June 2009

What a feeling

I love you more than I dare to tell you because i'm afraid that i love you more than you love me and more than i should. But i love you that much. And i know you love me too but i want you to love me and want me as much as i do you. I do not want you to want anybody else. Just me.

Wednesday, 24 June 2009

Wednesday Weirdness #60

1.) To you, what makes the perfect body the perfect body?
The person inside it. Awwww.. Lol but i have often met people with amazing bodies who are such twats that it overshadows their hottness. I find that the more i fall for someone, they become the most gorgeous person in the world to me, whether anyone else agrees or not.

2.) What part of your body do you obsess about the most?
Hmmm in what way? I love my face and my hair, so i try my best to take of them, but i'm not obsessive. Plus i try my best to take care of my whole body. I guess i obsess about my boobs a bit cos i can't stand them.

3.) What makes a house a warm, welcoming, comfortable home?
I hate houses that are overly tidy, or that are really modern or 'simple'. Some people like that but it just doesnt feel like a home. I like homes that are a little mismatchede, with big sofas that look comfortable, and little things everywhere, photos, little things that you would naturally gather throughout your life.

4.) What fabric feels sexiest against bare skin?
It's not fabric, but i love the feeling of hair on bare skin. Even though it can get in the way, i love the feeling of my hair and J's hair on my skin.

5.) What is the lamest lie you have heard in the last month?
Hmmm i don't think anyone's told me an obvious lie in the past month.

6.) What always makes you feel better when you're upset?
It depends who upsets me. Talking to J always cheers me up.

Tuesday, 23 June 2009

TMI Tuesday #192

1. Would you stay in a loveless relationship for the amazing sex?
Hmmm, maybe, for a little bit. But probably only because i wouldn't be brave enough to do the breaking.

2. If you could only have one, which would you choose: love that lasts forever or great, body numbing sex?
As much as i love sex, i'm going to have to say love that lasts forever. Too much sex without love (with the same person) can often make you feel like shit. Plus knowing me i'd fall for them and they wouldn't fall for me and i'd end up getting hurt.

3. Looking back at your past loves, which one should you have married/taken back and who should you have tossed earlier than you did?
There are none that i should have taken back, and one who i should have forgotten long before i actually did. We were on and off for about 4 years and in between he went out with one of my best mates, but i was still adamant that we'd get back together at some point. My love life would have been much better if it weren't for him. Grrr. (He's also now with another of my best friends, and they've been together for a couple of years now).

4. if you had one last fuck in you where, how and who would you “give it” to?
At the moment, it would be J. Apart from the fact that i'm completely in love with her, she's the best sex i've ever had. I'd much rather have my lst fuck with her than anyone else.

5. Which is more important sex, money, love and happiness? (and no, you can’t pick’em all)
Hmmm, this would be between love and happiness (even though sex is important obviously). I think i'd have to go with happiness, because you can often have love without having happiness can't you.

Monday, 22 June 2009

Can dreams come true?

I wanted to blog about this yesterday, but because it was father's day, i didn't have time to.

On Saturday night i dreamt that i came out to my mum. I don't know what triggered the dream, or what i dreamt before and after it. All i know is it was and incredibly realistic dream, so realistic that i woke up thinking it had actually happened. You know how sometimes you dream that you're at your own house, but it doesn't look anything like your house, but it still feels like your house? Or that you're talking to someone you know, but they look nothing like the person they actually are? This dream wasn't even like that.

Because it was a dream, i have no idea how the conversation started or how we got on to that topic. My mother was standing in the doorway to my room. It looked exactly like my room, it WAS my room. I could see the courtyard behind my mother with all the plants and washing and cats and dogs in, exactly like it is in real life. My mother looked exactly like herself. It was so unbelievably realistic.

Somehow we got on to the topic, and i looked at the floor and said i have a girlfriend. My mum said "i thought so" and hugged me and told me it's fine, she loves me no matter what. That's when i woke up, i think anyway. I woke up feeling relieved, so happy that i had finally done it and that she was ok with it. And then i remembered it was all a dream and got up to face the day, that would be full of "no i don't have a boyfriend"s to nosy (even if they mean well) relatives.

Do you think this dream was so realistic because maybe it's actually going to happen? I definitely hope so lol!

Friday, 19 June 2009


I had a massive argument with my mum today. Not because of anything i did, or she did, or something one of us said to the other. It's because she argued with my dad, he went out, and i was the only other person in the house. She stood in the doorway to my room for an hour and a half and screamed at me for an hour and a half. I am not exaggerating. She started at 6pm and didn't stop till 7.30pm. I could go into loads of detail about it but i'm just glad it's over. I was meant to go out and she was going to take me and when i told her i'd rather not go out, she flipped again and said that i was trying to make her feel guilty bla bla. Ah well.

Thursday, 18 June 2009

Picture This

Because i love photos.
I stole this idea from Julie.

A picture of you very drunk.

I had never been (and haven't been since then) that drunk. Half the night does not exist in my memory.

A picture of you on your birthday.

This is my birthday last year, because i don't have any photos on my birthday this year. My hair has grown lots since then, i had only cut it as a change after my ex split up with me. I didn't really like it at the time but now i think it looked cute!

A picture of you making a goofy face at the camera.

A picture of you truly being yourself.

I'm not exactly sure why i chose this, i was having loads of fun fooling around at the end of summer in the rain with my brother.

A picture of you being ridiculous (and drunk for that matter).

This makes me laugh out loud every single time i look at it.

A picture of you showing off a new haircut/color. (This was a hard one cos i haven't had more than a trim in over a year and i don't colour my hair.)

A picture of a time in your life that's over, but you wish it wasn't.

A picture of a time in your life that's over, and you couldnt be more thankful that it is.
I think i can honestly say there is no particular time in my life where i wasn't happy. There are many individual occasions i wish had never happened, but luckily i have no photos of them.

A picture of you with someone you love.

You might recognise these two from the photo above. They're two of my friends who i came out to last night. H is on the far left.

A picture that describes how you'd like to spend every day.

Anywhere as long as she's there.

A picture that makes your heart hurt.
There is only one photo which makes my heart hurt. It's one of my mother, father, brother and me in Disney World. It's in a little disney frame and cos it's so old the only time i tried to take it out some of the photo got stuck to the glass on the front. So it just stays there.

A picture that makes your heart smile.
There are so many! But because J is the only thing that has been on my mind for the last 8 months, and definitely will be in the next few months..

A picture of one of the best nights of your life.


Dutch courage

Last night was a great night. I couldn't get the shisha bong to work but apart from that it was an evening of splendor! We were on a beach drinking and talking about shit AND i got the courage to tell my friends about J! I'm so happy i did, at long last! I feel so relieved, like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. If the alcohol hadn't been involved, i definitely wouldn't have had the courage to come out, but now that i have i'm so happy that i did!

There were six of us, and i'm not sure how it came about, but the other three (two of whom already knew about J) went to the toilet, leaving me with H (who's one of my oldest friends, she is also mother of Baby Boy) and N (who's a relatively new friend but she's one of us now). So, as i usually do when i have something big to say, i told H i wanted to tell her something but i couldn't. She pressed and asked "why can't you? why can't you?" so i asked her to guess. Sure enough, without hesitation, she said "you're a lesbian." I mumbled a sound that was meant to signify that i'm not sure, then i said "you know jodie? she's my girlfriend. we've been together for 8 months." She jumped up and came over to hug me and said "i knew it. i knew it" over and over and then she started crying, and is tarted crying, and we were one big hysterical mess. Apparently she'd guessed, just from the posts J left on my wall on facebook. Ah well i'm just glad she knows. Once the other three came back i told A, and then the conversation moved on to the sex! So it went really well, i'm really happy now :). I'm a little bit nervous about when she comes now though, i really want them to like her!

This photo from last night made me laugh out loud.

I'm inside my trousers!

Hope you Thursday's going ok!

Wednesday, 17 June 2009

Cheering up & Wednesday Weirdness #59

I'm currently sat at the waterpolo club where i've spent every summer practically since i was born. The sky is perfect blue, the temperature's in the 30s (Celsius, don't ask me bout farenheit lol!) and the sea is just a couple of feet away from me. I'm happy now! I spent the early afternoon at the beach with three of my best friends, i've topped up my tan and i'm drinking an (unfortunately warm) iced tea. Bliss! All that's missing is J! But anyway, i'm happy again.

Yesterday there was a powercut across the whole island. And we didn't have any water either. So my mum and i spent the day doing fuck all, playing with kittens and doing crosswords. You never realise how much you rely on certain things until they're taken away from you. Luckily the electricity came back in the evening, and i have my wonderful laptop back! Yay! And it's been completely cleaned so it's running like a brand new one would be. The battery's lasting longer than 30 minutes and it takes about 5 seconds to load things for me. I'm so happy to have it back, i've apologised to it for even considering buying a new one to replace it. I love you Laptop and always will!

Tonight my friends and i are going to drink on the beach, we're having an Arabian themed night. I have a shisha bong too and i haven't used it yet this summer so i'm dead excited!

Anyway, on to Wednesday Weirdness..

1.) Do you/Did you ever have a piggy bank shaped like a pig? What do you keep your spare change in?
Yes i did. I still do but i don't use it. I usually leave my spare change running around, or in an empty glasses case, or in my little shot glass. Anywhere!

2.) Be honest. Have you ever stolen anything before?
Yes. My brother and i stole chewing gum once and our mum made us give it back. And other things.

3.) Would it be more awkward to be walked in on during sex by your parents or your children?
I don't have children, so i'll say my parents.

4.) How comfortable would you be at a nude beach? Would you keep your clothes on, keep it modest or bare it all?
I wouldn't bare all. And i'd only go topless if i was with friends or my partner and if there were people who looked like they were only there to perv then i wouldn't.

5.) Where is a place that seems fun and sexy to get it on at but in reality probably wouldn't work out very well?
The sea/a pool/any form of water. I haven't had full sex in the sea but i did fool around and it was a bit uncomfortable and i didn't feel very much. Snogging in the sea is ace though.

6.) Do you have sex less in the summer because of the hot temperatures?
Erm, no! That's what fans and ACs are for! It makes the atmosphere even more heated. The only thing i don't like is men get even sweatier in the heat, my ex used to drip all over me, it wasn't sexy. Lucky i have a girlfriend now who doesn't sweat so much!

7.) Have you ever had a dream that was in black and white?
I don't think so.

Bonus: When you have a naughty dream, most often is it usually your partner in the dream with you or someone else?
With J they're mostly about her. It depends on what happened before. If i don't see J for a while, the sex dreams usually involve her. But if i'd just spent loads of time with her it could involve someone else.

Happy Wednesday!

Monday, 15 June 2009

Social Awareness

Isn't it strange how once you become aware of something, it seems to be all around you? Our friends are Derby are organising a Drag Kings float. Now i'm watching the episode of Sex and the City that centres around mixed genders. There's an artist who photographs drag kings and uses Charlotte as one of his models, and being dressed as a man she is more uninhibited than she usually is. At the same time Carrie is dating a younger bisexual guy and she feels weird about it. A few nights ago i watched one of the episodes where Samantha has a girlfriend. I don't know if it's because i seem more aware of it now, or if it's just weird that everywhere i look there seem to be lesbians or bisexuals. Or maybe it's because people are becoming more accepting of it now. Who knows.

I'm finally starting to enjoy being back home. My mum and my brother aren't talking which is a bit weird and they don't seem too bothered about it, but my dad is really stressing about it. And obviously whenever im alone with my dad he complains about my mum and vice versa. They always seem to be arguing when i'm here and my dad told me today that they don't usually argue so much and it only seems to be when im home that they argue. Thanks dad! I know he didn't mean it that way but that's the way it came out. I'm enjoying the heat though, and finally getting some colour, yay! I really do miss J though, and the sex lol.

Saturday, 13 June 2009

Emotional explosions

I feel like i want to burst but i can't because i'm scared of the consquences. I want to tell my parents and a couple of my closest, best friends (even they still don't know) about J but I still don't have the courage. I read on someone's blog yesterday (i can't remember whose it was, tell me if it was yours!) that someone had once told them that once you get the courage to come out to your parents it means you've truly come to terms with your sexuality. Now i don't know is that's why i can't bring myself to tell them about J, but i don't really think it is.

In England, i have no problem telling people i have a girlfriend. I told most of my friends there straight away, and the others when we had made it official. I have no problem telling strangers that i have a girlfriend, in fact i'm very proud of that fact. However, if people ask me if i'm gay i still stare at them with a blank expression and wonder 'what' i am. Am i gay or bi? Does it really make that much difference? Somehow, to me, i think it does. Even though when people ask me that my answer is usually "i don't want to put any labels on it." Or something along those cheesy, lame lines. It seems like having a girlfriend is one thing, but being gay is another. Fuck knows i'm probably talking shit.

All i know is i feel like i was kind of thrown into this. Willing, of course, but with no experience and no expectations. I had never considered myself bi, always straight, and within a month of meeting J we were together. So even though i've fallen completely in love with her, i haven't really had the time to come to terms with it on my own, if you know what i mean. At the moment i don't really know what i identify myself as, i'm just in love with an amazing person.

I don't know. The reason i'm thinking about this know is because i want to talk about J constantly like a normal girl my age, or anyone really, would want. I want to wear the dress she gave me tonight and tell my mum that she got it for me without her thinking, "fuck how much money did this girl spend on her??" She knows J's gay, so i don't want her to think she's some crazy lesbian stalker, buying me things and taking me places. I want her to know cos i know my mum would appreciate how good she is to me.

I'm not feeling so sad anymore, i've ben back a couple of days and i've spent them sitting on the sofa or at my mum's desk, which is exactly what i wanted. I spoke to J a bit but my credit's finished now plus she's working loads at the moment to have money for Spain and for when she comes here. Plus i'm going to see my friends tonight and my laptop should be fixed, and completely wiped of all the crap (so it's practically going to be a new laptop), by Monday. Yay!

Happy Weekend everyone!

Friday, 12 June 2009

Sunbathing and Alton Towers photos

Here are some photos from the two sunny days in Derby (we seem to get two scorching days every year and if you don't make the most of them, you've fucked it) and our day at Alton Towers. Apart from the rides, my favourite thing was the aquarium. I tried to take photos but without the flash on most of them came all fuzzy.

J and me in the park

I got to the top of the spider web..

..she didn't!

There was a blowfish in the tank next to her (see what i mean about fuzziness..)

I think we were in the queue for the log flume here..

And here.

There are some other photos that i want to put up but they're a bit more, erm, intimate i guess lol, and since my laptop is still out of action i'm using my mum's. So they're going to have to wait till my laptop's fixed, which hopefully will be soon cos i miss the stupid thing.

Home is where the heart is.

I'm back home! I'm one year older than i was when i was here last time. And i'm a litle bit sad. But i'll not go into it cos i can imagine how bored you're all getting of my missing J stuff..

Well i got another result back and i got a B+! I'm very happy with that, even though with one more mark it would have been A- and that would have looked even better but anyway. Hopefully if i get between a C+ and B+ on my other two modules then my 2:1 isn't looking so impossible after all!

So that has cheered me up a bit. I'm still petrified about third year though. I emailed the lecturer who's supervising my IS (its Independent Studies, that's dissertation or thesis or whatever you want to call it) because i was meant to get her to physically sign my sign up sheet and then take it to the lecturer who supervises the IS module, but i'm home now and won't be back till September, so that's fucked it hasn't it lol. And i have to get an enhanced CRB which she said could take months to get done. Just brilliant.

Anyway, we had quite a nice last day together yesterday (see i couldn't keep off the subject for long lol). In the morning we carted all my crap from my house to J's friend's house, which took us more than 3 hours, and my shoulders and back are really suffering cos of it now. Once we'd finally got that done we showered and went to meet a couple of friends from work for coffee, where we decided to have cocktails instead to reward ourselves after the long morning. Then we went shopping a bit, well J went shopping. Then we went back to her friends house and waited till it was time for me to leave.

And now i'm here and it's boiling, it's so hot. I'm not used to this heat anymore. Last year i came home in May, so it was still not this hot and got weened into the heat. This year i was just thrown into it. And the heat here is a really damp, humid one, so when it's really hot it feels really stuffy. Anyway, i'm just going to look forward to Beni and for J to come.

Happy summer everyone! Sorry for my depresing tones lol.

Wednesday, 10 June 2009

emotional polarity

I'm happy, but not happy at the same time. J took me to Alton Towers for my birthday on Monday, and it was incredible! I absolutely loved it, it was the best birthday present ever! We had such an amazing day, just the two of us with nothing to worry about.

However, as always, an amazing day can't just remain an amazing day can it? Just before we left i went to get my camera out of my back and it was soaked. I had a can of Relentless (which is like Red Bull) in my bag and somehow it had burst and my camera (which i bought over christmas) and my phone (which i got only back in March) were completely soaked. We took the batteries and cards and stuff out and dried them and when we got back to hers i tried to switch them on but they stayed off. Luckily my phone seems to be working again now, but the camera isn't and my laptop's still fucked. Buuttt anyway.

Yesterday J planned a little surprise party for me at K's flat :). They made some epic mexican food. Nachos to start with and then burritos and stuffed peppers. On top of the party and Alton Towers, she also bought me a dress for my birthday, i really can't believe how much she's done for over the past couple of days. The only person who's ever made such a fuss over me on my brithday is my mum! Lol.
The reason i'm feeling a little bit sad is because i'm going home tomorrow. I hated being away from her for a week in Aberdeen let alone not seeing her for a month. Plus i didn't do as well on one of my essays as i thought i would, and i'm a bit upset about it. Luckily we had a presentation to do to and that took my grade up to a C+ but now it's making me worry about all my other grades. Plus i'm in one of those "i can't see the point" moods. I'm looking forward to going home only to see my parents, i really just want to spend the first couple of weeks at home but i don't think my friends would like it. Also i'm not looking forward to having noone know that J and I are together. I've told everyone what she's done for me for my birthday but it's not the same, i really want them to know how amazing she is but i still don't have the guts to tell them. Then i have to start work and even though i enjoy it, work is still work. Then i have to worry about preparing for my final uni year next year, which i am dreading. If i don't get a 2:1 at least i really think my mum will kill me. Then i have to worry about what i want to do after uni cos that's only a year away, and if i want to continue studying i have to apply in October.
Eugh, plus to top it all off i've got my period. Greeaaat. And i'm worried i'm gonna have to pay overwight on my luggage.

I hope everyone else is a little bit more cheerful than i am! I have to go and finish packing all my crap and wait for J to finish work. The one good thing about going home is hopefully i can start blogging regularly again and keeping up with everyone else! Happy Wednesday, and Happy B'day to me lol :)

Wednesday, 3 June 2009

Wednesday Weirdness #58

1.) If you had to either shop for your groceries in your underwear only (bra&panties or boxers/briefs/whatever) or run streaking through the mall totally naked for no less than 4 minutes, which will you pick?
Probably shop in my underwear, i run around in my bikini in the summer so i don't think it would be much difference. As long as the underwear isn't transparent lol.

2.) You're having dinner at the inlaws (your boyfriend/girlfriend's parents if not married) and the food is so awful you would rather eat the table cloth. Your mother in law (bf/gf mother) calls you out and asks if there is anything wrong with the food. You can't say you're "just not that hungry" because you had earlier claimed to be "starving" so now, how do you respond to her?
I would eat it anyway!

3.) In the middle of foreplay, your partner asks if you want to try something new. You ask what it is. They want to stick some kind of frozen fruit or vegetable up your anus. How open to trying this are you?
Luckily it doesn't sound like something my partener would want to stick up my arse. If she did though, i'd have to politely decline.

4.) Would you rather have to walk 30 feet over burning hot coals or walk 70 feet over broken shards of glass? Why?
Oh god. Erm, the hot coals, cos i could run, if you walked oon bropken glass it would stick and ouch. I've stepped on broken glass and even one shard isn't pleasant, let alone 70 feet of it.

5.) Would you rather have to have sex with your partner with a room full of your former highschool classmates watching or have sex with your partener in a room full with a mix of each of your former exes watching?
Definitely the exes, mainly cos all my exes are men and sex with J is much better than it was with any of them, so i'd want to show them how shit they were cos none of them made me moan and scream the way she does! Think it would be a bit obvious from their eyes that i'm enjoying it much more with her than i did with them.

Today i am frustrated

WARNING: This is going to be a very long post lol.

Something's wrong with my laptop. Its got itself stuck in a loop so everytime i switch it on it restarts itself over and over again, continuously. So i got back from Aberdeen on Saturday afternoon, and after spending 7 hours on the train watching films on it, lovely laptop decides not to work. I took into to uni monday morning for the geeky computer people to have a look at it but they couldn't figure it out. I now have to go to PC world, but i don't kow where it is so J's going to take me tomorrow. I'm now at uni using one of the uni computers cos i was getting facebook and blogger withdrawal symptoms.

Sooo Aberdeen didn't go as well as i thought. I think i was overly confident and overly optimistic. I really enjoyed spending time with my aunt and uncle, but i didn't tell her. Or him for that matter but i didn't intend to anyway. When i arrived i thought "no problem, i'll just get some time alone with her voila, it'll all come out." But i didn't really get much time alone with her cos my unvle was on holiday too, if it was just me there i'd have had plenty of opportunity.

She did almost figure it out for herself, but i don't think she'd believe that i have a girlfriend if i didn't tell her upfront. Basically we were in a pub somewhere in the Scottish highlands on Tuesday and J and i had been texting each other since i left Derby practically, mainly dirty texts, all we talked about was sex lol, with the occassional 'i love you so much' chucked in. So J sent me a text along the lines off "i want to fuck the arse off you when i get to Malta." Now my phone won't close the actual message if you don't press the back button all the way to the homescreen, it will keep it open while you do other things and if you click on the messages application it will open the message straight away. So Lal (aunt) picked up my phone and clicked on messages and there was J's message free for her to read. I snatched the phone out of her hand and she started questioning me about who i was texting. I kept insisting that it was J but she wouldn't believe me. I showed her my inbox full of texts from noone but J and she still wouldn't believe me! So i never plucked up the courage after that to tell her.

Apart from that Scotland was great. I saw loads of animals, and i absolutely love animals. I saw cows, highland cows (which are like normal cows but with long fur and horns), loads of sheep, grouse, donkeys, goats, seagulls, alpakas, rabbits, ponies, swans and probably some others. We saw loads of castles, went to museums, climbed a mountain and followed the whiskey trail. We went to a couple of distilleries, the most famous of which is the Glenfiddich distillery. I'm not a big whiskey drinker but from working on bars and in restaurants i know some things about whiskeys, plus we got some free whiskey in the process too!

Since i've been back things have been great, J's parents were still away oon Saturday night so as soon as i got home on Saturday afternoon i had a shower and went to hers. We spent the afternoon in bed having sex and eating, my two favourite things in the whole world done in my favourite thing, bed. Lol, all in all a perfect evening for me. Luckily the weather was really good, till today as it's back to grey and cold. At least we had Monday and Tuesday when it was really really hot, like proper hot, and we went to the park and sunbathed, and yesterday we took a bbq and spent the day there.

I have mnore things to say but this post is going to be too long and i have a short attention span!

I hope everyone had a good week and a half, i'm going to try and catch up on everyone's posts while i have some internet!

Also, its my birthday in 8 days! Yay! :)