Tuesday, 30 March 2010

Marriage equality

TMI Tuesday & formspring

1. Have you ever broken something in someone's home unknown to them and never told them? If yes, explain.
Haha yes. A few years ago, because a friend of ours wouldn't leave the house so we went to extract him. His parents house has a gate leading onto a courtyard so we jumped over it and walked inside and gave him the fright of his life.

2. What's one sexual guilty pleasure that you wouldn't openly tell your friends about? Why?
Having sex with girls? Lol, my friends in England all know and so do my friends in Malta but in Malta it's still a taboo subject. When I first came out to them I told them the sex was amazing and they looked a bit uncomfortable, so I don't really talk to them about it.

3. Take a peek over any celebrity's shoulder in the bathroom...who are they and what are they reading?
Lily Allen, she's not reading, she's looking at naked pictures of me and wishing she was in them too :).

4. Roses are red, violets are blue...[finish this line with your own rhyme]
No one makes me shiver quite like you do.
(crap aren't I?)

5. Do you believe in ghosts or other supernatural activity? Why or why not?
Not really. Only because during my second year at uni I took a parapsychology module and had to write an essay on possible reasons for paranormal activity. There's too much evident against it, i'm a fact is fact kind of girl.

Bonus (optional): How many times have you thought about sex in the last 24 hours? What triggered it? Who did it involve? Provide as much details as you like.
Lots. I generally think about sex often because I like it, loads. It involved J, it also involved me drunkenly asking for sex last night. She doesn't like drunken sex, I like any sex. We haven't been having sex as often as we used to, simply because we have less time and we've kind of moulded ourselves into our relationship quite well.

Sorry my blog posts have been so crappy recently, not much is going on apart from the usual and I don't want to bore everyone with things you all already know!
Oh does everyone like my new header? I actually paid $10 for it, because I'm a loser and love all this technology malarkey, but can't actually do it myself. Haha!

Finally, send me some questions on formspring, maybe they'll inspire to write something other than memes or posts about ANTM lol :)

Friday, 26 March 2010

The eight tens meme

I'm printing off some articles which i need to read for my dissertation/thesis whatever you want to call it. While i do so i came across this meme on Sunday Stealing, which I found through Kara and Jessica's blog.

The eight tens meme


1. Are you single?

2. Are you happy?
99% of the time. By the end of May it will be a definite YES :)

3. Are you bored?
Kind of, i have way too much read. Though it's all about childhood obesity and body image, so it's actually quite interesting.

4. Are you naked?

5. Are you a blonde?

6. Are you moody?
Depends on the person i'm with

7. Are you a lover/hater?
Lover, though everyone has their hater moments

8. Are you hot/cold?

9. Are you Irish?

10. Are you Asian?


1. Name: Sophie

2. Nicknames: Patch, brimb, picca, jaj

3. Birth mark: Small one on my wrist, its lighter than the rest of my skin

4. Hair color: brown

5. Natural hair color: brown!

6. Eye color: brown

7. Height: short

8. Facebook Mood:there aren't moods on facebook.. if you mean status it's "doesn't like it when articles aren't referenced properly in real journal articles!"

9. Favorite color: blue, purple, brown, cream

10. One Place to Visit: Malta, duh :)


1. Do you believe in love at first sight?
Maybe. I believe that if there is something there, sparks will fly as soon as you meet that person, an instant connection will be made. Whether it's love or not is a different story.

2. Do you believe in soul mates?

4. Have you ever been hurt emotionally?

5. Have you ever broken someone’s heart?
I don't know

6. Have you ever been cheated on?
I don't think so

7. Have you ever liked someone and not told them?

8. Are you afraid of commitment?

9. Who was the last person you hugged?

10. Who was the last person you kissed?


1. Love or lust?
Love. I think with romantic love, lust is part of the package that it comes with.

Where's number 2 gone?

3. Cats or dogs?

4. A few best friends or many regular friends?
Few besties

5. Television or internet?

6. Chinese Or Indian?

7. Wild night out or romantic night in?
Romantic night in, i'm an old soul.

8. Money or Happiness?
Happiness, though no matter what anyone says, not having to worry about money makes anyone happier.

9. Night or day?

10. MSN or phone?
Phone, since you can get internet on there too now!


1. Been caught sneaking out?
No, i've never had to

2. Been skinny dipping?

3. Stolen?

4. Bungee jumped?

5. Lied to someone you liked?

6. Finished an entire jaw breaker?

8. Wanted an ex bf/gf back?

9. Cried because you lost a pet?
Yes :(

10. Wanted to disappear?


1. Smile or eyes?
Smile, because it lights up the eyes too!

2. Light or dark hair?
Medium coloured? I'm a sucker for a brunette anyway.

3. Hugs or kisses?
Both, you can't make me choose. A kiss whilst being hugged and squeezed and rubbed.

4. Shorter or taller?

5. Intelligence or attraction?
Intelligence - i started seeing a guy who was lovely in person and very nice to look at but was frustratingly thick. I had to explain everything to him twice. It didn't last very long.

6. Romantic or spontaneous?

7. Funny or serious?

8. Older or Younger?

9. Outgoing or quiet?

10. Sweet or Bad Ass?
A bit of both!


1. Ever performed in front of a large crowd?

2. Ever done drugs?

3. Ever been pregnant?

5. Ever been on a cheer leading team?
Haha, we tried at school but didn't keep it up. Its not a big thing in Malta.

6. Ever Been on a dance team?

7. Ever been on a sports team?

8. Ever been in a drama play/production?
School ones

9. Ever owned a BMW, Mercedes Benz, Escalade, Hummer or Bentley?

10. Ever been in a rap video?


1. Last phone call you made:
Trying to ring the hospital about my op!

2. Last person you hung out with:

4. Last time you worked:
Work work? Saturday. Uni work - today

5. Last person you tackled:
Haha J, i like pushing her back on to her bed everytime she gets up :)

6. Last person you IM’d:

8. Last person(s) you went to the movies with:

9. Last thing you missed:
My family

10. Last thing you ate:

Thursday, 25 March 2010

New ANTM, new favourite

What is it with stomachs? That's the first place I look. One of the reasons I love J is because of her tummy. She has stars down either side of hers, and if i didn't fancy the pants off her enough before, the first time i saw them i fell in love with them. I love kissing up and down them now :).

I made a formspring, i don't really know why. Actually i do. It's because i'm a sheep and if formspring is in, then i have formspring! Ask me questions, go on, you know you want to.

Wednesday, 24 March 2010

Love and Lily

EDIT: I'm going here on Sunday 4th July to watch Lily Allen support Jay Z! I love Lily Allen, J loves Jay Z, so it seemed like a pretty good plan! To make it even more awesome, it takes place at London's Hyde Park, and it's also going to be Lily Allen's last live show for a while! I can't wait! :D

Friday, 19 March 2010

Ray of hope

I know I've already posted today, but I came across an article on the website of Malta's biggest, most popular newspaper and I decided that I had to share it with everyone. It's written by a 19-year old University student in Malta and it gives insight into the close-minded mentality a lot of people still hold in Malta with regards to gay rights. The girl herself is very honest and open about her upbringing and her opinion on gay rights and gay marriage. It gives little gays like me some hope that people like her will be in control one day and I can go back home and raise a family there without being judged one day. If anyone is interested in reading the article just click HERE.

J and I hope to move to Malta one day (fingers crossed we're together long enough lol!). We are very wrapped up in each other and have talked about the possibility of a family, though we know that there is a chance we won't be together in however many years time, it's nice to know that we share the same ideas and hopes for a family in the future. Regardless of J anyway (that sounds a bit harsh lol) I've never really fancied the idea of raising children in England as Malta is much much safer and everything is just a bit easier over there. Except of course being gay. So if i, or we, did want to move there to raise a family, we wouldn't be able to do it right now, so hopefully within the next 15 - 20 years Malta can progress and we will be able to live happily and in a non-homophobic environment.

Homosexuality was made legal back in 1973, and there are laws protecting gay people from abuse and discrimination. Even though that is really good considering Malta is a very Catholic country, you would think that by now, and with the influence that the media has over the world at the moment, we would have progressed further. But alas, I have to wait and read blogs by people my age hoping they will one day help to change the backwards ideas that the Maltese people still hold.

Phew! Rant over :)

The BB award, Bloginterviewer, and a year of blog!

This week has been a lovely week for my dear old blog. Yesterday it turned one whole year old! I neglected it a little bit between summer and the new year, but i'm back and i'm loving it again!

Also, some wonderful person (tell me who you are!) nominated me for a Blog Interview! Thank you so much to whoever did, let me know who you are! You can read my interview here and, you know, vote for me if you want to :).

Finally the lovely Jude over at 7 Senses nominated me for a Beautiful Blogger award! Jude was one of the first people i followed when i started blogging a year ago, and one of the first to follow me back! So you should all go and say hi to her, if you haven't already :)

The rules of the award are:

1. Thank the person who gave you this award.
2. Share 7 things about yourself.
3. Pass the award along to 15 bloggers who you have recently discovered and who you think are fantastic!
4. Contact the bloggers you've picked and let them know about the award.

Ok, i don't think i'll be passing it along to 15 bloggers, but i'll leave that till the end.

Seven things about me, this is going to be hard, i tend to write about everything on here!
1. I was born, baptised and raised Catholic. I am Catholic but I don't practice, I don't go to church. Partly out of laziness, partly because I don't believe in a lot of what the church says. Especially the Maltese Catholic church: Gay is wrong, gay marriage is wrong, sex before marriage, children born outside of marriage, divorce, abortion.. The last two are both illegal in Malta because the church is such a dominating force over the government.

2. I am a terrible procrastinator. I usually have about 5 windows open at the same time, even more if i'm meant to be working. I watch youtube videos, refresh facebook, stalk people on twitter, read blogs, all to avoid doing anything merely productive.

3. The only time i stop procrastinating is when food is involved. I would choose food over almost anything. I love love love eating, i love savoury food, especially cheese. In fact i made my dad bring some maltese cheese over to England when he was here these past couple of days. I love meat, veg, fruit, pasta, bread, pizza, any and all types of food. Especially cheese. Oh and cheesecake. Yum!

4. I've only had two 'serious' boyfriends before J, and only slept with 3 guys before her. That one crazy drunken night changed my life forever!

5. Only one person in my life knows I blog, and she doesn't read it. The reason I started this blog was to be able to get things off my chest without worrying about offending others or being judged, so i've only ever told one woman, who did her first year of uni with me and came out around the same time i did. No one, not even J knows, which is a bit weird sometimes because i would like to tell her how well i'm doing suddenly, but I like having my own little space to get things off my chest :).

6. I don't have any tattoos, though i would like one but knowing me i'd cry in the chair lol! I'm a wimp, and J has told me many times that i probably wouldn't be able to sit through a whole session. I have one piercing, my belly button, which i got when i was 14. Sometimes i consider taking it out but my belly looks too weird without it.

7. My favourite part of my body is my hair :)

Ok, the people I'm going to pass this blog on to are:

More sex, chocolate and red lipstick - Amy here is a student, and her blog posts are always fun and interesting. I started following her on blogspot and now she has migrated over to wordpress and i've only just managed to put her back on to my blog list. On top of that, she's pretty hot!

Finding Claire - Claire writes about her life with her girlfriend, pretty much in the same way I do, and I love reading about what they get up to, as well as beign able to relate to what's going on in her life :)

Just, because - Ashleigh is also gay and has a girlfriend, and a little younger than me, so i love reading her blog because i wasn't out when i was her age, and to read things from her perspective is great.

Learning how to sail my ship - Finally, Crystal is another lesbian who i love reading, it's just nice to get a little insight into peoples thoughts and feelings, and Crystal writes about things and people she likes as well as her life.

Check them out, i love them!

Finally, i want to end this post with this video i came across on facebook/youtube which really amused me:

Monday, 15 March 2010

We may let the scaffolds fall, confident that we have built our wall.

Masons, when they start upon a building,
Are careful to test out the scaffolding;

Make sure that planks won’t slip at busy points,
Secure all ladders, tighten bolted joints.

And yet all this comes down when the job’s done
Showing off walls of sure and solid stone.

So if, my dear, there sometimes seem to be
Old bridges breaking between you and me

Never fear. We may let the scaffolds fall
Confident that we have built our wall.

- Seamus Heaney

J's new job is going incredibly well, she's really enjoying it, which is good because it means this past week and weekend have been incredible. She's been in a really good mood all the time and the little things that used to piss her off didn't get to her. It's so nice to finally see her happy again!

She's working in the college library, where she found some postcards which were about to be thrown away from the BBC's recent poetry season, all of which had a verse or two from some of the most famous poems. One of them had the last two verses of Seamus Heaney's poem "Scaffolding". She gave this one to me, and it is now one of my favourite poems. She's becoming quite sentimental, which she wasn't when we first started seeing each other, and when she gave it to me and hugged her and had a little cry into her shoulder! We stuck it on top of her bed, in between us :).

On a side note, I'm off to London tomorrow to watch football and see my dad! I can't wait, i haven't seen him since January and i'm a proper daddy's girl, so the tears that will be shed when he leaves on Thursday will be plenty.

Do you have any favourite poems? Or favourite things your partner has given you?

Friday, 12 March 2010

A few things to look forward to

Here are some things i'm really looking forward to:

  • Finishing uni

  • Doing well (hopefully!)

  • My breast reduction - even though I'm petrified

  • Buying new things to wear :)

  • The sun coming out soon, hopefully

  • My mum coming to Derby for the first time since she came over to help me settle in when i came in 2007

  • Spending a few weeks in Cambridge with my mum and my aunt

  • Summer in Malta with J

  • Moving in with J

  • Getting a job and being able to leave the cinema

  • Going to New York (hopefully!) next Christmas

I am really excited about the next few months :)
What are you all looking forward to?

Thursday, 11 March 2010


I have 50 followers! I don't really know what else to say about it except thank you everyone for being interested in me!

This week has been a good week so far. J started her new job on Monday and she's really enjoying it, which means she's been really happy and cheerful all week, which means so have I. She was only given part time hours at first, but they've given her Thursday and Friday too which means after April she can finally leave the cinema. The sun is starting to shine, the sky is getting bluer, and the air is slowly getting warmer, all is good :).

Apart from the fact that, as always, i can't focus and have no motivation to do my uni work. My deadlines and exams are looming and i just can't be bothered. which is not good. I did well last semester (I got A, B+ and a B), so i have a good chance of getting a good degree result, though i need to get my head down and read read read.

On top of that, my breast reduction is taking place on 7th June. I'm petrified! I had my pre-operative assessment yesterday and i've put on weight, so the nurse told me i need to lose some just in case (just in case they decide after all not give me the op). Grrr. It's not even a lot that i've put on, and it's just down to laziness, but i'm not happy about it. Ah well, it just has to be done. I also saw the ward that i would be staying in, and it's a cancer ward. I feel a little bit like an intruder, considering most of the patients who are going to be in there are ones who really need treatment, whereas my op isn't essential. But anyways, i'm just happy it's finally getting done, even if i am scared about what life is going to be like with normal-sized boobs. What if i don't like them? Or if i can't recognise myself without them? Ah, i'll just have to wait and see i guess.

Sunday, 7 March 2010

Crazy in love

Don't you hate how crazy being in love makes you feel? Mentally crazy, slightly deranged and completely out of control of your feelings, emotions and even your body. I do and say things sometimes, not necessarily anything bad, just things i don't normally things i would do or say. I've realised this year that my confidence has increased so much, partly i think because of J and also because of university. When i first moved to Derby i was much quieter, i wouldn't speak up about anything, i wouldn't stand up for myself, i couldn't speak out in front of large groups of people, and now i can do all those things, though it's only been throughout the last week that i realised just how much i've changed.

I noticed at uni last week, we had to give a small presentation and the other people in my group didn't want to speak out so i did, and i was calm and confident. This time last year i would have blushed and stumbled over my words. I was talking to J in a nightclub last night and her friend and housemate (let's call her friend X) kept trying to get involved. Now this woman is 10 years older than me and since i've known she's always been rather patronising and made me feel small and she's the type of person who always has to be right, always has to be in charge and always has to have the last word. She used to point out my age a lot, which i didn't like because i am always the youngest around friends here yet i don't act like a child. J has had to move in with her even though she doesn't want to and X hasn't been very nice about me being there. She's also one of the biggest hypocrites i know and she's not always very nice to J. So last night she kept trying to interfere and i flipped and shouted at her to not get involved and she started yelling back.
But the point is, a year ago, maybe even a few months ago, i wouldn't have had the courage to stand up to her. The only problem is she doesn't want me in her house now but to be honest, i'm glad i flipped because she's just ridiculous. She's alienated a lot of J's other friends because she wasn't very nice to them, and whenever she's around she hangs on to J and excludes everybody else from the conversation they're having. I was just fed up with it.

Anywaaaaaayyy, rant over!

Has anything changed you recently? Over the past few years? Have you noticed it - are there particular things or situations where it's really obvious to you?

Thursday, 4 March 2010

Coming out to strangers and great boobie news

out to strangers is really bizarre. It's completely different to telling someone you know, yet it still feels just as hard. I've been lucky here in England because i've known most of them since more or less the time when J and i got together, or else they didn't know me well enough to know whether i was gay or not so it was easy for me to tell them. It wasn't as easy to tell people back home, but i was quietly confident/hopeful that that would be ok with it.

It seems coming out to strangers is the hardest of the three. I still find myself calling J my friend, even though we've been together for almost 18 months. I really have to push the words 'my girlfriend' out of my mouth. Hardly anyone at the school where I work knows about J and today i mentioned her in a conversation and said 'my friend' and then finally, at the end of the conversation, mentioned 'my girlfriend'. I think it's probably subconsciously feeling that they will judge me, as well as the fact that i haven't been out very long, it's all very confusing.

I also find telling men is much easier than telling women. Again, i think maybe it's because i subconsciously worry that a woman might feel awkward around me if they knew i was gay. Why, i do not know. I've never really thought about it until today. Has anyone else ever thought about it? One of the strangest thing was putting J down as my next of kin on my hospital forms, seeing as she's the only family i have here.

Oh, and i finally have a date for my breast reduction surgery, it's going to take place on 7th June! I have a pre-op assessment next Wednesday. Keep an eye out because i'm going to start a different blog about it, mainly because i've read other people's blogs about their experiences and they played a big part in my decision as to whether or not to actually have the surgery. Yay!

Wednesday, 3 March 2010

Glee glee

Is anyone else out there in blogland as obsessed with Glee as I am? I've downloaded both volumes of the music and listen to them constantly, i watch clips on youtube and i've seen every episode two or three times already. I am absolutely obsessed. It is brilliant, sheer genius, especially Jane Lynch's character Sue Sylvester. It's worth a watch just to see her. Her comments and remarks are just amazing, and her acting, including her facial expressions and tone of voice, just make her one of the funniest characters i have seen in ages! Not that i'm expert or anything, but she's had me laughing out loud on more than one occasion. Below is one of my favourite Sue Sylvester moments:

Then there's Rachel Berry. Her voice is incredible and does well to indulge my love of musicals and show tunes. Plus she's not too hard on the eyes either! I found this video on youtube, it shows off her voice and, well, her :).

Tuesday, 2 March 2010

Shoulder to cry on

There are many things that annoy me, but right now, being there for someone is really annoying. I feel a little bit unappreciated and it's really, really starting to annoy me.

I mentioned in my vlog a couple of weeks ago that J had a job interview which she got, yay! I'm so glad, she's been really unhappy at the cinema and hopefully at the end of the month she can leave the place for good. However she still doesn't seem to have cheered up, and i'm there for her no matter what but when she starts taking her stress out on me it gets really hard and makes me want to slap her to at least get some coherent words out of her.

She had work at the cinema today and i went to meet A for lunch. She managed to finish work early and join us for lunch, which i paid for. She seemed to be in a good mood over lunch, laughing and joking and acting normal. Then we went to look for trousers for her new job and after she tried a couple of pairs on she got really mardy and starting sulking and snapping at me. I asked her if she was ok and she just said "oh i'm never going to find a pair of trousers." We walked home together and she didn't say two words to me so i decided to come home, i have work to do anyway. Before i left i asked her again if she was ok because she looked upset and she said she was fine. I left it a couple of hours and then texted her and asked her of she was ok again and again she said she's alright, to which i replied you don't seem alright and she never replied.

Why do people act like this?? She's clearly not ok, and she usually tells me why. I don't even know what to say, i'm annoyed and i needed to rant and i wish my girlfriend wasn't an emotional cripple.