Crazy in love

Don't you hate how crazy being in love makes you feel? Mentally crazy, slightly deranged and completely out of control of your feelings, emotions and even your body. I do and say things sometimes, not necessarily anything bad, just things i don't normally things i would do or say. I've realised this year that my confidence has increased so much, partly i think because of J and also because of university. When i first moved to Derby i was much quieter, i wouldn't speak up about anything, i wouldn't stand up for myself, i couldn't speak out in front of large groups of people, and now i can do all those things, though it's only been throughout the last week that i realised just how much i've changed.

I noticed at uni last week, we had to give a small presentation and the other people in my group didn't want to speak out so i did, and i was calm and confident. This time last year i would have blushed and stumbled over my words. I was talking to J in a nightclub last night and her friend and housemate (let's call her friend X) kept trying to get involved. Now this woman is 10 years older than me and since i've known she's always been rather patronising and made me feel small and she's the type of person who always has to be right, always has to be in charge and always has to have the last word. She used to point out my age a lot, which i didn't like because i am always the youngest around friends here yet i don't act like a child. J has had to move in with her even though she doesn't want to and X hasn't been very nice about me being there. She's also one of the biggest hypocrites i know and she's not always very nice to J. So last night she kept trying to interfere and i flipped and shouted at her to not get involved and she started yelling back.
But the point is, a year ago, maybe even a few months ago, i wouldn't have had the courage to stand up to her. The only problem is she doesn't want me in her house now but to be honest, i'm glad i flipped because she's just ridiculous. She's alienated a lot of J's other friends because she wasn't very nice to them, and whenever she's around she hangs on to J and excludes everybody else from the conversation they're having. I was just fed up with it.

Anywaaaaaayyy, rant over!

Has anything changed you recently? Over the past few years? Have you noticed it - are there particular things or situations where it's really obvious to you?