The strangeness and confusingness of it all

I'm in a frustrated mood. I cried a lot yesterday and a bit today, and I haven't cried in ages because I've been so happy recently. And then I lose my temper, and even though she's acting normal, there's just something a bit off. We do spend a lot of time together, and fair enough she's spending the evening with her best mate, but I don't know when I'm going to see her, plus we've only spent one proper day together in ages. It's just that I'm going home in a week, and just before yesterday things were brilliant. But anyway I'm just making a fuss. She annoyed me because about a month ago I asked her if she wanted to come with me to dinner for my friend's birthday, and she very obvioulsy didn't want to but said she would, because obviously I want her there. A couple of weeks ago I told her I was going to book the night off work and she told me to book hers off too, so I did. Then yesterday she got annoyed cos she has less hours cos she has the Saturday off. Why do people do that? Why did she tell me she'd come with me when she didn't really want to? But anyway...

I still find it strange that I'm so in love with her. Everytime I see her smile my heart literally skips a beat, and whenever we're not together I can't stop thinking about her. Like now. Considering I'd never had feelings for another woman before it still feels a bit surreal when I think about it. And usually things are amazing between us, the cheesy annoying kind of great where you just stare at each other and smile like a twat.

I really wish she was staying over tonight.