out to strangers is really bizarre. It's completely different to telling someone you know, yet it still feels just as hard. I've been lucky here in England because i've known most of them since more or less the time when J and i got together, or else they didn't know me well enough to know whether i was gay or not so it was easy for me to tell them. It wasn't as easy to tell people back home, but i was quietly confident/hopeful that that would be ok with it.It seems coming out to strangers is the hardest of the three. I still find myself calling J my friend, even though we've been together for almost 18 months. I really have to push the words 'my girlfriend' out of my mouth. Hardly anyone at the school where I work knows about J and today i mentioned her in a conversation and said 'my friend' and then finally, at the end of the conversation, mentioned 'my girlfriend'. I think it's probably subconsciously feeling that they will judge me, as well as the fact that i haven't been out very long, it's all very confusing.
I also find telling men is much easier than telling women. Again, i think maybe it's because i subconsciously worry that a woman might feel awkward around me if they knew i was gay. Why, i do not know. I've never really thought about it until today. Has anyone else ever thought about it? One of the strangest thing was putting J down as my next of kin on my hospital forms, seeing as she's the only family i have here.
Oh, and i finally have a date for my breast reduction surgery, it's going to take place on 7th June! I have a pre-op assessment next Wednesday. Keep an eye out because i'm going to start a different blog about it, mainly because i've read other people's blogs about their experiences and they played a big part in my decision as to whether or not to actually have the surgery. Yay!
2 comments:
just started this whole blogger thing and found your posts interesting.
Your story reminded meof something from my acting days.We were doing caberet and I was dancing with this handsom man and he really seemed to have a hard time getting into it...I thought to myself was it me?did maybe he have a super possesive wife? was i just a really bad dancer? When we were done he said how strange it was to dance with me given the only other person he had danced like that with was his husband,it didnt click for a moment and I acctualy almost corrected him til I realised it wasn't a slip of the tounge...I guess what I'm trying to say is just like I over thought why this man acted strangly when we danced don't over think others reactions...the ones who are going to judge are stil going to judge and the ones who have an openmind arn't.
On another note had a reduction about 5-6 years ago, if you have any questions feel free to ask.best of luck with your surgery.
Hi, so I find this interesting because I find strangers much easier to tell than anyone I am close to. Im from ND though where saying "girlfriend" would get you run out of town! So when I moved to WA (much more liberal) one of the things I was most excited about was the ease of conversation. I feel for you though, but I think its best to just not push it and it will come easier as time goes on.
ps: I like the new blog layout much better!
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